Dear America:

We both know what happened last night. I don’t want to relive it, but I have to. We had talked about this, and I thought we sort of came to an understanding. But then, at the end of the finale of “Live To Dance”…I saw a group of beautiful, heartbroken shirtless angels. Their tears are on your hands, America.

To be fair, America, I warned you what would happen if you did this to me. I gave you lots of chances in the past. Like that time you voted Chili’s Baby Back Ribs the “Best Ribs In America”. You told me that “American Pawn” was a one-time thing, and I stayed with you. Even after I found out about “Hardcore Pawn”. This was your one last chance to prove to me that you were capable of more than just reruns of “NCIS”. And you blew it.

So I am officially breaking up with you.

I’m going to return your sweaters and your DVDs of “The Wire”. If you can leave my key in the mailbox, that’d be great.

I don’t know what I’ll do now. Maybe I’ll fling myself into the safe open arms of Canada. Or take Italy up on that offer to be “friends with benefits”. Who knows what the future holds now.

Heartbroken,

Becky Rose


OK. Seriously. Congratulations to “Live To Dance” winners DeAngelo and Amanda, who were obviously awesome and totally brilliant and way more talented than I could ever dream to be. I mean it. I am a woman who has yet to master the “Electric Slide” despite having over 25 years of forced experience at it. A horse in a coma could have learned this dance by now. I can’t even master the Chicken Dance.  So here’s to you, Tiny Dancers!  Congratulations!!

Lastly, as the inaugural season of “Live To Dance” comes to a close, check out this killer opening dance number with all the finalists:

Thanks for reading and following, everyone!! See you next season!

RR.

———
P.S.

Dear Dance Town Chaos:

I know last night was probably a little rough for you, and I’m sure you’ve been through a lot. But I just wanted to let you know that I’ve broken up with America. It’s over now, this time for good. I’m not saying we should jump into anything serious right away…I’m just saying I am here for you. Should you need to be comforted or held while you’re shirtless or perhaps taken away to a secluded island in the Bahamas, where you can dance your shirtless hearts out for someone who appreciates true art and the sacrifice it takes to get perfectly sculpted abs and perfect your dance routines, I am here for you.

A sincere patron of the arts,
Becky Rose