On this week’s fully scripted episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashins, Kim is “too shy” to dance, and Scott fights with Kris over being Kendall and Kylie’s manager.

Kim, Kourtney, and Khloe are in San Francisco for a meeting about their new clothing line for Sears, which I’m sure they’ll claim on their tax return as charity. During the Q&A panel Kim “freezes up” because “she’s a little shy” and doesn’t even know what to say. Hmm I didn’t realize people that make sex tapes could still be shy.

Kris visits Kourtney’s house and when Scott walks in at three in the afternoon Kris nags him about not working enough. Scott says he “doesn’t mind Kris giving him a hard time, if it’s constructive criticism. But Kris has no idea what kind of business he’s running.” I hate them both.

At the Jenner house with Kim, Khloe, Bruce, Kylie and Kendall. Kim is embarrassed because Prince brought her on stage at his concert and when she “froze,” and didn’t dance, he said, “Get off the stage.” When Khloe asks why she didn’t do anything Kim says, “I don’t dance. Like I don’t care,” which makes about as much sense as an artist who changes his name to a symbol.

Scott arrives home in his Lamborghini. I’ll give you a moment to compose yourself. Kourtney, Kendall and Kylie are already at the house and Kendall says, “You know what mom did the other day? She left me at a photo shoot for 12 hours.” Now Scott hatches a plan to take over Kylie and Kendall’s “careers” because Kris’s “attention goes to the number one bread winner Kim.”  I mean I don’t know why? She can’t even dance.

Scott says, “These two are the stars of the family, not you guys. You’re getting old and washed. These are the bread winners.” Kendall says, “So you’re saying I should fire my mom, and hire you.” Scott just wants to see if Kris freaks out, so now it’s a fun joke because according to Kourtney, “maybe she needs a scare, so she will be better to all of us.” Thanks Kourtney.

Dinner at the Jenner house and the girls tell Kris that they’re “firing her.” Kris practically spits out her edamame and surprisingly, Bruce is on board with it. Once they start chanting “Scott,” Kris says, “If you guys aren’t kidding, this will be the last time you mutter the word Scott.” She calls Scott and says, “don’t you think you should’ve talked to me first?” He says they should sit down and talk about it “like real people.”

Meanwhile in the other room, Kendall and Kyle tell Bruce it’s all a joke, and that “it’s kind of like to make mom mad. It’s funny.” You know what? Those two should really just stop trying to “be funny,” but I will give anyone who pisses Kris off some credit.  Kris says, “I really thought Scott knew me well enough by now, to know that you don’t mess with my family, and you definitely don’t mess with my business.” Gotta love those priorities.

As Scott lies by the pool, Kris confronts him saying, “What the hell do you think you are doing? …It’s really shady that you think you could take over Kendall and Kylie without even discussing it with me. That’s the shadiest thing I’ve ever seen you do yet.” She is yelling a lot and keeps saying the wordy “shady,” which is the last thing a guy trying to get a tan wants to hear- am I right people?

Finally he tells her it was a joke and she says, “The only joke is that you think that you could be their manager.” Now Scott is hurt… blah blah blah and what started, as a “harmless joke,” is now a “big disaster.” Maybe we’ll get lucky and they’ll both fall in the pool and miraculously forget how to swim. Wait, who am I kidding? Scott’s giant inflated ego and Kris’s bladder pads would keep them afloat.

Kris continues her rampage and says, “The only problem she has is Scott.” Umm Kris, are you sure this is the same person you were hounding your daughter to marry a few episodes back? I mean is it too much to ask for just a little continuity people!

Kim decides to take dance classes so just in case “this happens again,” she’ll have something to do. Of course she’s horrible and “every single person in this class can dance ten times better than she ever could.” Now this is “the most humiliating experience of her life.” Am I the only person who remembers she had a sex tape?

Kim goes to lunch with Mayte, who is a “good friend” that she’s known since she’s nineteen. Oh and also she’s Prince’s ex-wife. Funny how things work out! Mayte calls Kim out on the fact that she can do sexy photo shoots and red carpets, but apparently can’t dance, saying it’s the exact same thing. I’m bored.

Kourtney and Scott brush their teeth (in a master bath the size of my apartment), and he says she “needs to tell her mom to stop coming over here uninvited.” Kourtney wants him to “say he’s sorry and move on.” She thinks he should stop doing these “crazy pranks” and “ talk to her like a normal person.”

Scotts speaks with Kris and says that a part of him “wanted to get under her skin” but that he didn’t think she “was going to get that upset and strike back and say such hurtful things.” He says it feels like she is always ready “to go after him, if he gives her the opportunity.” She says she “doesn’t feel that way about him at all anymore” and that she is “trying to push him to be the best he can be.” He wants her to work on what “she does to push people in the right direction,” and when she agrees to, Scott apologizes for making her upset. Oh great. I’m so relieved. But what about Kim’s debilitating inability to dance!

The entire family (even Rob) is at their favorite Armenian restaurant when dancers come over to try to get them to dance. Of course, at first Kim can’t go because she’s “too shy.”  Then suddenly she has a breakthrough and “doesn’t care if the entire restaurant sees her dancing onstage.” Everyone is so proud of her newfound confidence and I’m just proud of myself for not throwing my remote (which is coincidently the same size as Prince) at the TV.

Next week Kris gets a face-lift and Kim cries while on a family vacation in Bora Bora.