This week on Keeping Up With the Kardashians, the entire family goes to Bora Bora where they finally get to spend some time with Kim’s boyfriend Kris. However, “momager” Kris is more concerned with how she looks in a bikini.

At the Jenner house Bruce tells Kris, Kendall, and Kylie that he planned a trip to Bora Bora with the entire family for his and Kris’s 20-year wedding anniversary. Bruce tries to surprise Kris and it’s no surprise that she isn’t even excited. Although she does manage to say, “This is crazy. That’s actually sweet.”, HomeVerge reports.

Kim introduces boyfriend Kris to her “best friend” Loren, who lives in the tackiest penthouse known to mankind. Loren’s “friend” J.R. is also there and it looks like he got the afternoon off from selling used Hondas. Loren says, “So you’re the guy who is making her happy now. I love that.” Perpetual bonehead Kris says, “I feel like I’m meeting your second parents” and mocks asking for their permission to marry Kim. Then he puts a giant fake obnoxious rock on her finger that looks exactly like the real obnoxious rock he eventually gives her.

After Kim and Kris leave, Khloe and Rob visit Loren on her yacht. They talk about boyfriend Kris and Khloe calls him a “douche,” which makes me like her for a split second. She goes on to say that when she first met him, “he asked her if her marriage was for real or for television, and then asked if Kim’s ass is fake.” Khloe knows Kim really likes him and that “she’s in love” but “at this moment she doesn’t really have a lot of great things to say about Kris.” Then Khloe sips champagne on a yacht and I hate her again.

Kourtney and Kim are at the mechanic, aka “Just Tires,” waiting for Kourtney’s car. Kim is on the phone with Kris and he jokingly says, “Kourtney just because you have a kid and you don’t know anything fun, does not make you mature.” Kourtney doesn’t find this funny and says, “I don’t know what to think of Kris yet. None of us has really spent any serious amount of time with him. He’s very sarcastic and I just don’t know what to make of him yet.” Then they talk about how boyfriend Kris and Rob are twins because “they’re so immature.” You know what that makes me think? Total marriage material.

Kim, Kris and Kourtney are at the Jenner house and Kim tells them she is so excited about the trip. However, Kris is “not as excited” saying, “I’m just scared to go and be in a bathing suit with all of you.” Kris continues saying she “hasn’t spent more than a half hour with boyfriend Kris” and Kim says “that’s why we gotta go on vacation.  I want you to get to know him.”  Meanwhile Kourtney asks, “What if you hate him?” and Kris says, “Then we have a problem,” and a really good storyline.

Kourtney and Khloe are at a vintage store, which according to Khloe “smells like my grandma” (so it also smells like Kourtney’s grandma). Khloe doesn’t think she’s going to Bora Bora because “she wants to be with her husband in LA.” Kourtney wants Khloe to be there because she “just doesn’t know Kris Humphries” and “she can just see him and her getting into it.”

“Momager” Kris goes to a plastic surgeon “because the older she gets, the more matronly she looks.” It’s called aging. The woman’s face at the front desk and the other thing waiting in the lobby says it all. Kris wants to have her boobs redone and a neck lift, but unfortunately the recovery time is two months. As a result Kris will “have to go on this trip feeling horrible about her body.” You know what Kris? Leave your body alone. Maybe you should think about how horrible it feels, knowing it’s housing your soul.

The entire fam is waiting at the airport and boyfriend Kris says, “I’ve spent a lot of time with Kim, but not a lot of days in a row and you really can’t hide anything when you’re on vacation with them.” Meanwhile Scott teaches Mason dog tricks, which seems to be working when he chews on a germ infested airport chair. On the plane Kim and boyfriend Kris start taking home video footage and at first, I thought it was the beginning of another sex tape. Even more unfortunate, it ends with a close up of Kris barking into the camera.

Eight hours later they land in Bora Bora. The boat ride to their rooms, yes I said boat ride, starts with lots of pictures and “horsing around” (no, Khloe isn’t there). The tone changes when Kris says, “You guys are like parents that have been together for 30 years. Show some PDA.” Scott says, “Let’s see you guys in five years and then you tell me how much you want to touch each other.” Kourtney thinks Kris has “no filter,” and should “mind his own business.”

They go to the rooms and Kim has a panic attack because her room is too hot, too big, and there are flowers all over. Kris says, “This is a side of Kim I’ve never seen before. She’s freaking out over something most people would die for.” Uh-oh! It hasn’t even been two days in a row.

Kris and Kim are outside on the deck overlooking the water and Kim says, “Let’s just jump in with all our clothes on.” Then it turns into a flirty “I’m going to push you in,” “No I’m going to push you,” until Kim jumps in, followed by Kris. They’re both back on the deck and Kris throws Kim in the water. She’s laughing until she realizes her 75,000-dollar earring is missing. Then she freaks and Kris says, “We’ll find it baby.” Kim responds with “we’re not going to f*cking find it in the ocean. Seriously I’m so f*cking annoyed” and storms off crying. I don’t know what the big deal is – her losing a 75,000-dollar earring is like me losing a pair of cubic zirconias from Claire’s.

As Kim continues to cry, we’re left with a “to be continued” next week, where there will be more Scott alcohol drama, “momager” body issues, and boyfriend Kris will find out Kim was married once before -scandal!