This week on Keeping Up With the Kardashians Scott continues his campaign to become a worse version of Spencer Pratt, while Kris realizes she’s neglecting her younger children.

Kris tells Kourtney  she had no idea “Kylie joined track.” Kourtney says, “You need to make time before you lose them and they get too old.” Then Kourtney asks her to name Kylie’s three best friends and Kris can’t.  Kris’s excuse is the “17 different hats that she wears,” but Kourtney thinks, “Her mom hat needs to be the biggest.” The only problem is Kris lost her “mom hat” in a giant pile of money.

Scott visits his therapist and the only thing worse than watching Scott go to therapy is watching Scott go to fake therapy. He tells her he’s going to Vegas to host a party and “would like to have a drink, or two drinks.” His therapist reminds him, “That having alcohol in his life is really dangerous for him and his family…sobriety is the only way to go, there isn’t a choice.” I wish someone would’ve told me that before I started playing a drinking game, where I drink every time Kris says, “I’m building a brand.”

While Bruce attempts to heat up a chicken potpie without a chef, Kris tells him how upset she is that Kourtney thinks she isn’t as good of a mother to Kendall and Kylie, as she was to Kourtney, Kim, Khloe and Rob. Bruce says, “I agree with her. When was the last time you carpooled the kids? You haven’t carpooled them in years. You had to hire a chef, because you couldn’t cook for them.” Kris gets upset and Bruce says, “I’m not saying you’re not a good mom, but to compare the girls growing up with their mother, to Kendall and Kylie growing up with their mother…its two different worlds, that’s all it is, you’re not a bad person.” Yes, she is Bruce and now their father is also a liar.

Kourtney and Scott are out to dinner and when he brings up his Vegas appearance, Kourtney says she wouldn’t be able to go with him. She asks if he’s “been thinking about drinking lately?” and he lies and says, “Not really.” Kourtney doesn’t feel comfortable with him going, given his “previous issues” in Vegas.” He thinks that she should trust him and that “nothing is going to happen.” This is reality TV code for “something is going to happen.”

Kris wants to “get more involved with her girls and spend more time with them.” So instead of doing normal parent things, like cooking them dinner and picking them up from school, she tries to hang out with them and their friends (aka this will be “entertaining and funny,” but its neither).

Scott gets ready for Vegas and Kourtney says, “ I just don’t think you should go.” Scott says, “He’s going to be fine, and is going to show her he’ll be fine.” Of course when she drops him off at the private plane, “his friends” are literally popping champagne bottles. Hmm I wonder what’s going to happen here?

Kris drives Kendall, Kylie and their friends to go ice-skating. When the girls chant “We’re gong ice-skating, we’re going ice-skating,” Kris chimes in and makes it even more annoying. Then when she decides to go skating with the girls, Kendall says, “My mom has gone crazy. Who does she think she is? This is so embarrassing.”

Scott is by the pool and says, “It’s a typical Vegas atmosphere. Everybody single person is drinking and all I want is to feel normal and fit in.” Then his “friend” hands him a drink and says, “That’s for you, seriously.” Scott has the drink and says, “Alright cheers to one responsible drink for the day.” Slow-mo as he takes a sip, cut to a montage of all “his friends” and some guy named “The Gooch.” Scott orders more vodka lemonades and says, “What do you want from me? It’s Vegas.”  I want you to stop existing.

Out at lunch, Bruce tells Kris that Kylie and Kendall told him she is “driving them crazy.” Kris says she’s “just trying to find ways that she could actually bond with them” and she “feels really guilty.” Bruce says, “ You have to learn to spend time with the family, but don’t force yourself on them. Just enjoy the time you have with them.” Yes the quality time you have with them, in front of a camera crew. Side note: If this recap is incomplete, my brain chose to shut down in an attempt to save me from myself.

At dinner Scott starts ordering more drinks. His boss asks him “if he’s going to behave?” Meanwhile Kourtney is sleeping at Khloe’s and they’re debating whether or not Kourtney should/can call Scott.  She calls him and he sends her to voicemail.  We’re “back at the club” with Scott and “there’s drinks everywhere.” He keeps forwarding her calls to voicemail, as he drinks and chain-smokes.

He finally calls Kourtney back and tells her “they’re here in Vegas to party where I’m here to make money and work and go home, and they’re here acting as if it’s Mardi Gras…you know what I mean? So I’m taking it easy.” Kourtney says, “Alright good, you promise?” And he lies and says, “Oh I’m good doll, I promise.” Back to the club and it’s more dramatic slow-mo of Scott drinking and doing air finger pistols as he dances.

Kris talks with Kendall and Kylie about not spending time with them. She breaks down into tears and says, “She doesn’t want to wake up in 5 years and they’re in college and don’t live there anymore.” Nice try Kris, but let’s face it, these girls aren’t going to college. The girls explain that they love her, “but they’re teenagers” and like to hang out with their friends. Kris says, “I’ll hang out with the two of you as much as you let me hang out with you…do we have deal here guys?” The only way she’ll spend time with her kids is if it involves some sort of “deal.”

Scott arrives home and after Kourtney asks how it was, he says, “ You know, I knew I would be fine and responsible, even though you thought I wouldn’t’ be…. I’m happy that it was good and it was easy. It’s not my life and nor do I want it to be.” LIES LIES LIES!! Kourtney “feels so much better” now that he’s home and Scott goes on to say, “I’m not going to lie, I think you owe me a pretty big apology, for doubting me, you owe me that.” And this is the guy Kris (aka “mom of the year”), has been pressuring Kourtney to marry?

Next week Prince tells Kim “to get off the stage,” and Scott tries to poach Kendall and Kylie from Kris and become their manager.