Well damn guys! Is it just me, or Nina kind of a gigantic bitch? I mean, sure, it’s not necessarily breaking news or anything, but this episode really highlighted how unpleasant she can be. Maybe she’s trying to affect some sort of Anna Wintour chilliness or something, but homegirl needs to lighten up! It’s just Liftetime, after all (oooh, burn!). 

Why did this episode highlight Nina’s unpleasantness, you ask? Why, because this week the designers are tasked with designing a day-to-night look for none other than Ms. Garcia herself. Nina stomps out onto the runway and lets out a laundry list of things she does and doesn’t like. Basically, she likes “classic with an edge” and hates literally everything else. She does not like big silhouettes, she does not like gray, she does not like cowl necks, she does not like them, Sam I Am!

So, with the fear of death instilled in them the designers head back to the workroom to do their sketches before their terrifying one-on-one consultations with Nina. She has a few helpful suggestions but mostly just undermines and second-guesses all the designers. Also, Anya decides to do a jumpsuit, which doesn’t sound very Nina, and also sounds like a one-way ticket to Cameltoe City.

Off to Mood! Anthony and Becky both pick the same black and white fabric, which is of course a HUGE GIGANTIC BIG DEAL! Lot’s of dramz and talk of how the judges will definitely for sure bring it up. Also, Cecilia chooses a bunch of grey fabric despite being deliberately told that Nina does not want grey. Cecilia says later that she thought the greys were purples, but that seems highly improbably unless Cecilia is like a dog and can’t see color. Also, is it just me, or does Cecilia talk EXACTLY like the good witch who owns the magic store in “The Craft?” (Totally not an obscure reference.)

Now it’s back to the workroom for another round of Nina crapping all over everyone’s designs. “Really?!” “Do you have a plan b?!” “I hate that idea!” It’s like damn! Cut the designers some slack! The negative criticism obviously sends everyone into a tizzy, leading some designers to make rash decisions. For example, Anya decides to dye her mustard-colored fabric black, despite being very unfamiliar with the process. Risky business!

While she’s doing that, Bert decides that there isn’t enough negativity in the room and decides to make catty comments about the other designers. Guys, I really dislike Bert. He is literally an old fart. He is like somebody took a fart and made it into a living, breathing, really unpleasant human being. He needs to go home.

Anyway, sew sew sew, cut cut cut, everyone is behind and starts panicking. Cecilia , realizing that she has chosen completely hideous fabric, has basically given up entirely and decides to help Julie finish her look instead. Anya’s dye-job actually turns out pretty nicely, but she’s also nowhere near finishing so gets help from Laura. Will everyone make it through ok?

Models! Make-up! Hair! It’s time for the runway show.  Our guest judges this week are Tilda Swinton, er, I mean Joanna Coles from Marie Claire, and actress and “arts advocate” (whatever the hell that means) Kerry Washington. Bring out the fashions!

– Joshua sends out a cute and colorful mod dress that is well made but not really Nina.

– Bert belches out a black dress that, while well made, is completely boring and safe.

– Ambiguously-origined Olivier’s look is chic, modern, and gorgeous as usual.

– Anthony’s black and white dress is really cute, but maybe not for Nina.

– Becky’s comes out next to stir up drama (SAME FABRIC OMG), but it actually winds up looking pretty different and nice.

– Kimberly’s pants and gold top look like Judy Jetson-goes-office-lady, but is impeccably made.

– Cecilia sends out a mousey hooker dress that is surely putting her in the bottom.

– Anya’s pantsuit is cute! Totally surprising, but I really really like it. I think she may be my favorite?

– Danielle’s green and black look is boring Midwest secretary.

– Like Joshua, Julie chooses to go a little mod in her look but doesn’t quite succeed.

– Bryce’s dress is totally boring and has a bad hem.

– Laura’s green dress is actually really cute, but I think a little too risqué for Nina.

– Finally, Viktor sends out a neat geometric black dress that is 100x better than Bert’s.

Everyone takes the stage, and Danielle, Kimberly, Anya, Viktor, Julie, and Cecilia are asked to stay. Looks like the judges didn’t care about Samefabricgate 2011 after all! Viktor, Anya (yay!), and surprisingly Kimberly are in the top three. The judges hated Julie’s mod housecoat, thought Cecilia’s hooker dress was a mess (obvs), and fell asleep from Danielle’s ensemble, so all are in the bottom three.

After a particularly catty deliberation, the best and worst are called back out and it’s announced that…Kimberly is the winner, which is really surprising! Personally, I thought it was pretty weird and semi-unwearable, but apparently the judges all dug it, so what do I know. Danielle is safe, putting Cecilia and Julie in the bottom two. Both looks were pretty dreadful but ultimately the judges decide that despite Cecilia giving up, Julie should go home for her consistent lack of talent. Seems fair to me. Julie seems a little bummed, but overall handles things pretty well. I mean, let’s be real, she was never gonna win, and I think she knew that too.

So that’s that! Next week’s episode looks insane, because they are picking team leaders based on who can run the fastest? And Olivier maybe dies from heatstroke? Yeah, nuts. Can’t wait! So what do you guys think? Were the results justified?