This week the designers took a fashion journey back in time to the fabulous coke-fueled seventies. Some were smashingly successful, and some were…well, what would happen if you designed a dress while hopped up on stimulants. Which is to say, bad. Let’s talk about it!

We start with the remaining seven designers reeling from last week’s elimination. Everyone seems pretty shaken up, as they should be since pretty much everyone got eviscerated by the judges. Though, Olivier is finally gone, so there’s the silver lining! Keep your head up, guys!

After regaining their composure, everyone heads to the runway to learn about their next challenge. Heidi trots out in her usual pumps and mini and cryptically tells them that this week they’ll have to “look to the past for inspiration” before sending them off to Tim for their actual challenge. Why do they always do this? Why is it always Heidi saying some cutesy mysterious hint and then sending them to Tim to get to the meat of things. It just seems wildly inefficient. I guess they need to find some way to fill 90 minutes…

Anyway, they head to the workroom where Tim clarifies that they’ll be creating a modern look inspired by 1970’s, and the winning look will be available for purchase on Piperlime dot com (yay?). Tim stresses that the look should be INSPIRED by the 70’s, but it shouldn’t be costumey or over the top, and things should stay current and sophisticated. Why do I feel like some people aren’t going to heed his advice?

Sketch sketch sketch, talk talk talk, time to go to Mood! Things start out as normal, but at the last minute Anya loses her money. See, she put her cash envelope in her cleavage (totally a smart place for it. Good job.), and somewhere between the chiffon and the charmeuse it slipped out. Everyone kindly helps her search for it, but ultimately it remains lost, and Tim tells her that she can use leftover cash from other designers and muslin from the workroom, but ultimately she’ll have to “make it work.” She manages to buy some fabric with the $11 she scrapes together, but beyond that she’ll have to make do with what’s available. Here’s hoping things turn out well!

Back to the workroom! Everyone starts sewing, and everyone gives Anya some leftover fabric. Well, everyone except Viktor because he is stank. Also, everyone hilariously asks Bert for his advice, since he was a total 70’s party boy. Seriously, he (grossly) makes a joke about hooking up in the balcony of Studio 54 at one point, and I threw up in my mouth.

Sew sew sew! Laura’s dress is looking ugly, and Anya is still struggling to make things work, dyeing muslin various shades of red. Viktor starts getting paranoid and accusing Joshua of copying him, which seems like a bit of a stretch to me. Just do you, Viktor!

Everyone is just starting to hit their stride when Tim walks in and drops the bomb that they’ll be making a second, complimentary look, and it needs to be 1 piece. They are given $50 dollars and head back to mood for more fabric. Some people make smart choices, some people make fug choices.

Everyone heads back to the workroom where they frenziedly start on their second looks while simultaneously finishing their first looks. It’s seriously tense. Also, at some point Joshua says the phrase “full maxi” and I felt nauseous. Gross.

Models! Makeup! Hair! Time for the runway! This week’s guest judge is monster ice queen Olivia Palermo of MTV’s “The City” fame. Apparently, she’s also employed by Piperlime in some capacity, but the details are fuzzy. Point is, she’s still terrible. Let’s start the show!

– Kimberly’s first look is ok. I liked the floral circle blouse, but the skirt was a little off. Her second pantsuit look is a good idea, but looks a little tight and as a result makes her model look (probably) unintentionally whorey.
– Both of Anthony Ryan’s looks looked perfectly fine to me. Not the best of the bunch, but definitely solid. I particularly liked his second look. However, as we’ll see later, the judges DEFINITELY disagreed.
– Bert’s first look is a sparkly mess, but his second simple jersey dress is super cute, and fits the challenge perfectly.
– Laura’s first dress is well made, but her fabrics totally clash, resulting in a major eye sore. Her second look was cute though!
– Joshua. Yeah… both of his outfits are a straight up mess. Like, I don’t even know what else to say about them. They were awful. Just awful.
– Despite having no budget, Anya sends out two awesome outfits. Her first look (made for 11 dollars, mind you) looks amazing and totally wearable, and her second jumpsuit looks current and as Nina would say, “luxe.” Well done, my island princess!
– Viktor’s outfits are very well made, as usual, but are a little boring in my opinion.

Kimberly is sent off as the lone safe designer, and the judges start their critiques of everyone else. They hated Laura, Joshua, and Anthony Ryan, and loved Viktor, Anya, and Bert. Also, Olivia Palermo asks Anthony Ryan “Why didn’t you do a skort?!” which is the most hilarious thing anyone has ever said on Project Runway, and possibly TV as a whole. Skort. LOL.

The judges deliberate for a bit and call everyone back to the runway. Anya is announced the winner! Yay! I loved her clothes this week, and I love her too, so I was happy with the decision. Bert comes in second, and it’s announced that they’ll be making his dress available on Piperlime as well (the jersey one, not the sparkleslut clubwear).

Viktor and Laura are sent away, leaving Joshua and Anthony Ryan to sweat it out. Shockingly, it’s announced that Joshua is safe, and Anthony Ryan will be sent home, which is absolute crap in my opinion. How could anyone think Joshua’s plaid monstrosity was better than what Anthony Ryan sent out? Judges be trippin.

So that’s this week. Do you guys agree that Joshua staying is BS? You’d better, otherwise you’re an insane person. See you next week when the designers have to design outfits inspired by birds! Yes, really!