Previously, on America’s Next Top Model: All-Star Edition: The girls made their own fragrances. Bianca refused to get in a bathtub to promote her fragrance. They had a photo shoot on motorcycles inspired by NeNe Leakes and Snooki. In a surprise double elimination, Bianca and Kayla were sent home.

The episode opens with Angelea saying she’s surprised Bianca went home. Angelea then says “but I’m still here! And I’m the spice!” So 716. They go into the house and Lisa’s photo is on the wall. Laura says she’s proud of how far she’s come; apparently she speaks in front of groups now.

TYRA Mail!  This Tyra Mail comes from Madison, a cute little five-year-old “Internet Phenomenon.” She gives the girls a “makeup tutorial” “teaching” them how to use a foundation brush and bronzer. She looks familiar, but obviously she’s not THAT much of a YouTube Sensation if I can’t remember where she’s from. She says “Listen up, all-stars. My makeup lessons are free, but I really hope you can keep a beat.” Angelea thinks it has something to do with music.

Jay Manuel shows up and tells the girls they’re going to write their own songs and star in their own music videos so they can have the chance to “go viral.” Tom Polce, a music producer from CBS records is going to help them, and Laura is either really star struck by Tom, or she’s excited about the music video.

The girls are going to have 20 minutes to listen to the music that was written for them and think up their lyrics. Allison is worried because she doesn’t sing. I don’t know why, I really love the opening for this cycle of America’s Next Top Model. It’s so edgy; I wish I could be in it.

Ok, back to the challenge. Tom is going to listen to what the girls write in their allotted 20 minutes, and whoever he feels brings the most to the table will win a visit from a special guest. Angelea says her music is like a fighting song. Alexandria’s song makes her want to dance. Shannon decides to write about her husband. Lisa sounds like she’s rapping. Allison is having a hard time – but Tom loves it. She writes about her father who passed away last year. She starts to cry and I just want to go give her a hug. Tom says the two stand-outs are Lisa and Angelea. He names Lisa as the challenge winner. She will receive a special visit from her fiancé.

The next day they go to the recording studio. Tom says Tyra has come up with a hook that all of them most include in their songs: “Pot Ledom.” Top Model backwards…ugh. Angelea goes first – her song is called “I’m Here.” Shannon’s song is called “World Go Round” – she tries to rap at one point, it’s horrible.

Allison’s really upset because she has to incorporate the ridiculous pot ledom into a song about her dead father. She gets it together and reworks her song. Her song is called “Underwater.” Dominique’s song is called “Tooch Your Booty.” Laura’s song is called “Southern Sweet Girl” – it’s very Katy Perry-esque. Alexandria’s song is called “Go, Go, Go.” She’s wearing her sunglasses and all her hair is in her face while she’s recording – basically she looks like a big d-bag. She says she can see herself being a real recording artist. Lisa’s song is called “I Be Like Whoa!” She talks about wizards at one point. I kind of love it already.

Lisa’s fiancé, Adam, shows up to the house for her prize. They cuddle in the confessional. They gaze into each other’s eyes. They “hide under a blanket.”

The next day, the girls show up to some abandoned warehouse and Jay Manuel rolls up in a classic car. He says they need to take their brand to the next level so they can “go viral” with their videos. “Game” shows up, and Angelea freaks out. I kind of hate that they call him Game and not THE Game. It sounds weird and awkward, it doesn’t roll. He has a face tattoo. Which has nothing to do with being called Game vs. The Game, I just had to mention that.

While backstage, Tyra shows up looking like a fool. She’s wearing a bright yellow leotard that says Pot Ledom, pigtails, big feathers, it’s a hot mess. She says she’s going to be acting as back up in all the girls’ videos, and she has Keenan Cahill, internet sensation, to help her. He’s also wearing a shirt that says Pot Ledom. Ugh, stop pushing this on us.

Dominique Reighard – Cycle 10 – “Tooch Your Booty”

Dominique is first, and she has a major Beyonce thing going on. The Game tells her to stop “droppin’ it low” so much, but she camera talks that every time she was going down it was because she was actually tripping on the camera equipment.

Alexandria Everett – Cycle 16 – “Go, Go, Go”

The Game tells Alexandria to imagine that the car in the video is like her short boyfriend. Angelea says instead of “Go, Go, Go” it was like no, no, no. Jay says Alexandria was so awkward she actually stunned the Game into silence, haha. The Game says they don’t have enough time to put oil in the tin man, bwahahaha.

Shannon Stewart – Cycle 1 – “World Go Round”

Shannon is wearing a floral sundress. She looks like a soccer mom.

Lisa D’Amato – Cycle 5 – “I Be Like Whoa”

Lisa kills it of course, but she’s also already recorded an album, so there’s that.

Laura Kirkpatrick – Cycle 13 – “Southern Sweet Girl”

Alexandria says she loves Laura’s song and tries to sing it, it’s horrible.

Angelea Preston – Cycle 14 – “I’m Here”

Angelea is on take 10 and The Game tells her they’re running out of time and she just needs to do it. Jay says she isn’t selling it in her body language or her eyes. She has a big curly fro, a gold corset and leather pants. She does the whole video in front of some sort of old-school elevator and it looks like she’s about to rip the slats off the little fence that you lift up to get out.

Allison Harvard – Cycle 12 – “Underwater”

The Game gives Allison a little pep talk and he’s like, hey girl, I’m feelin’ ya. Her video is cray cray with her big ol’ eyes and such. The Game gives her a little secret handshake/fist bump afterwards.

Judging

The girls show up to judging. André Leon Talley is wearing a pork-pie hat. Tyra is wearing a yellow blazer with just a bra underneath so you can see her midriff. She’s also wearing capris, which I think it’s the second week she’s worn them. Not okay in my book. They show all the girls’ videos, but the cameos with Tyra and Keenan look stupid because they recorded them in a completely different spot than where all the videos were shot.

André says Laura’s video is “charming.” He says Angelea is flat in her video. Alexandria’s video looks weird because she’s so much taller than the car in her video. The Game says Alexandria’s lyrics don’t match her body chemistry. Shannon’s video reminds me of a Faith Hill video from 10 years ago. The best part of her video is definitely Kennan. André loves Lisa’s video, but I’m not excited about it – mainly because her mouth doesn’t really match the singing. The Game says he wishes he had Lisa’s song on his iPod.

Allison’s video is totally trippy. The Game says Allison is the most weirdly beautiful person he’s ever met. I think he has a little crush on her. Later on in judging he actually says that he’s attracted to her. You heard it here first, America’s next celebrity couple: The Game and Allison Harvard. Their celebrity couple name will be The Gall. Allisame? I’ll work on it.

Tyra does her usual song and dance – she has 7 beautiful young ladies standing before her, but she only has 6 screen grabs in her hands.

  1. Allison gets best video
  2. Lisa
  3. Dominique
  4. Laura
  5. Shannon

I really don’t know how Shannon keeps squeaking by. It comes down to Angelea and Alexandria. Alexandria was brought back for the All-Stars cycle for being more than a model, but in her music video that’s all she was – a model with no personality. It’s Angelea’s third time in the bottom two; she looked uncomfortable in her video. But she was still better than Alexandria.

6. Angelea

Coming up, on the next episode of America’s Next Top Model: All-Stars: The girls go to Greece. They’re going to be modeling underwear, and Shannon has a problem with it. Laura gets sick.

Although I’ve been wishing for it every week, I really do think Shannon will get sent home next week. Who do you think will be packing her bags?

Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterShare on LinkedInShare on Google+