The three finalists opened with “The Way You Make Me Feel” which I liked much better in Center Stage. They threw their hats at the end like they were graduating from something. Noticeable point: There are only four women left in the entire competition.

It’s the final episode of The Sing-Off, but don’t worry, it will still take Nick Lachey two hours long to let us know who won this show. Also, keep in mind that these performances are completely superfluous because America has already voted and decided who won. It doesn’t really matter what the judges say. They’re not even judging anymore; they’re just singing the praises of each group and fighting for camera time.

Pentatonix (aka “Those Kids That Sang At Starbucks”)
• Song: “Without You” by David Guetta featuring Usher
• My Thoughts: I have never heard this group sound off before; I’m not sure what was going on at the beginning of this song, but it seemed like the lead singer was singing out of his range.
• Judges’ Thoughts: Sara likes that they take big risks and it always delivers.

Urban Method (aka “The Rappers”)
• Song: “Hearts in Stereo” by Gym Class Heroes
• My Thoughts: Okay, the rapping has become kind of a one-trick pony at this point. My roommate also thinks that the girl in the black tights shouldn’t wear tights because it doesn’t make her legs look good and makes her look like she has cankles.
• Judges’ Thoughts: This group created “hip-hop-apella”.

Dartmouth Aires (aka “Those College Guys Who Don’t Wear Yellow”)
• Song: “Paradise” by Meat Loaf
• My Thoughts: Wait, where did that girl come from? How did she get in the all-male college acapella group get a girl? And why haven’t we seen her yet? And isn’t she from Delilah? Did I miss something? Maybe I shouldn’t fast-forward so much.
• Judges’ Thoughts: Ben thinks what he just saw got them this far. Did no one else see the girl? I’m officially lost.

All three groups have sung and we’re only forty minutes into the episode. You know what that means, Nick Lachey is going to sing “Una Noche” with Pentatonix. Oh, and Ben referred to Nick as the “stallion of the Sing-Off” which unfortunately I do believe might be true. I never thought I’d get to say this in real life, “STAY OUT OF IT, NICK LACHEY!!!” This is like a member of O-Town at a karaoke bar singing “Liquid Dreams”.

Sara took the stage with Urban Method singing her latest single, “When I Get Over You”. To me Shawn seemed like the obvious choice to sing with this group, but I guess he doesn’t have a single to promote right now.

Ben and the Dartmouth Aires decide to teach the audience how to do accapella and turn the place into an “accapella freak show”. Ben even went back to his seat during the song to save time.

We’re an hour in at this point? What else could possibly happen?

Let’s try every combination possible. Now all the ladies will sing, “You Make Me Feel Like A Natural Woman” by Aretha Franklin, together. The dresses are not flattering. And yes, to verify one of the comments from my “Afro Blue Pisses Me Off” article, the white girl DOES TOTALLY LOOK PREGNANT!!! The men counter back with “Born to Run” by Bruce Springsteen. No one appears to be pregnant.

Remember last season when Boyz II Men showed up and sang Motown Philly with Committed? Can we just do that again?

Smokey Robinson shows up to sing “You’ve Really Got A Hold On Me” with Afro Blue. Because they made it to the finale. Oh wait…We do, however, have confirmation that the white chick from Afro Blue is pregnant.

When did they shoot this? She wasn’t pregnant last week when they got kicked off. That’s one hell of a swan song.

Nick Lachey announced that they are moments away from revealing the results. No you are not. There is still thirty minutes left. Oh, I get it, they’re eliminating one group now and one later. Urban Method is sent home to “I’m Coming Home”. It’s down to Dartmouth Aires and Pentatonix.

With fifteen minutes left we are going to recap each group’s journey on the Sing-Off because they haven’t done that enough this episode. I actually admire the editors’ skill at this point. They have defined packing 5 lbs of shit into a 20 lb bag.

So who won? Pentatonix!!!

Tune in next week for “Sing-Off Christmas Special.” No thank you.