Previously: The contestants adjusted to life on the ranch after their Hawaiian trip. Megan went home even though Mark lost no weight.

Tonight, the episode is only one hour because we have a special elimination episode of The Voice coming up after this (which I’ll also be recapping).

Anyway, we start off with Conda talking about how she was put in a bad position tonight because she was friends with both Megan and Mark. Yes, Conda, this show is all about your struggles. At least she admits she’s abrasive and bossy before talking about how good of a friend she is. She felt she took Megan in under her wing and helped her become accepted in the house. After a pep talk from Jeremy, she decides to refocus on her goal.

And just in time, because the contestants are on the way to a challenge. They arrive on a field and are confronted with a larger than life image of themselves when they were … larger than life. Buddy is shocked by his former size. Kim notices that she had dead eyes and notes that now, after losing 88 pounds and changing her lifestyle, she not only is alive, but she feels alive. Good for her! And I do love challenges involving before and after pictures (in a manner of speaking).

Alison explains the challenge – the contestants climb a cargo net, grab a baseball (it makes sense, I promise), climb back down the cargo net, and then, using a slingshot, launch the baseball toward their picture, which is printed on two panes of glass. To win, you have to break both panes of glass first. The winner gets a great prize… a one pound advantage! But that’s not all, the loser gets a one pound disadvantage.

Kim and Chris break a pane of glass pretty quickly, but then Buddy joins the race, quickly breaking one pane of glass, and then…the other. Buddy gets the one pound advantage! Now, it’s a race to stay out of last place. Chris is about ready to give up because she’s no good at this. I wish she would just go cry in a closet (LINK).

Mark is the second to finish and he taunts Jeremy: “It’s you and three girls. No pressure.” Hahaha. Jeremy is doing terribly. Balls are literally bouncing off the panes of glass. He finally breaks one pane of glass, and immediately after, Kim breaks her final pane and is safe from the disadvantage!

It’s down to Conda, Jeremy, and Chris. Each of htem has only one pane of glass left. Jeremy finally has the hang of this slingshot thing and drills a ball into his second pane of glass. Conda vs. Chris. And…Chris wins! I guess all those weeks of Jeremy spoonfeeding Conda didn’t help matters. I’m smiling smugly now.

And speaking of smiling, Alison starts talking about inner and outer beauty, which can only mean one thing…MAKEOVERS!!

Chris jumps around and dances and speaks in a falsetto like Oprah. IT’s pretty funny.

Jeannie Mai is the style guru again! I do love her (from How Do I Look? It’s a great show on Style network….even my boyfriend likes it!), she’s sassy and makes really bad puns.

Kim loves Jeannie’s outfit. I do too. I love the neutral color blocking on her dress.Jeannie tells the contestants that this is the biggest makeover week yet: “You’re about to see someone who’s not just a style icon, but an icon to an entire nation of people.” Jeannie is standing next to a monitor and who else pops up but… Michelle Obama!

She says: “Hey everybody! Congratulations on making it to makeover week. You all are showing millions of Americans that each of us can make positive changes in our lives and the changes won’t just make a difference for ourselves, but will have an impact on our families and children as well. So keep up the good work. You all are doing great and I bet you feel better too…. In fact, I’d love to hear about it in person, so will you all come here, to Washington, so that I can see just how far you’ve come? I hope to see you soon.” For real! Jeannie tells them they’re going to the White House to reveal their new look. Holy wow! I’m jealous!

Buddy says, “This is crazy!” Yes Buddy. Well put. This is insane and unbelievable and I’m not even leaving my couch.

So the makeovers begin…Jeannie brings contestants into a side room one by one and shows them their old clothes, hanging on mannequins. All the contestants are in shock as to how big they are. Jeannie has Kim try on one of her old shirts. It’s hanging off her and is nearly obscene. She rips it up.

And now come the transformations (well, just the clothes…)! Everyone looks great!

KimJeremyChrisBuddyCondaMarkMark is SO slim. He’s a good looking man.

Now that they have the clothes, it’s time for the hair! Ken Paves is the stylist. Chris says she’s been waiting 14 weeks for this. Good! I hope they take Chris darker. After some high fives, it’s makeover madness time (Ken’s words). Snip snip snip. Color color color. Conda donates her hair to Locks of Love.  That’s nice.

And just like that…we’re in Washington, DC, for the reveals

MarkHe looks so nice. He really is quite a fit dude. He lost his goatee and is completely bald. Dolvett says, “You can’t hate on a bald head.” I don’t, but I do miss the goatee. Dolvett and Bob leave Mark and as soon as they do, his kids (minus Chism) rush in and give him a huge hug. Aw! Family reunions!

ChrisHer hair looks great! She looks great overall. It looks like she’s lost 20 years off her life. Actually, she looks kind of like my mom. Weird. Chris’ kids join her in the receiving area and Chris calls herself, “Your mom’s younger sister.” Her kids apologize for taking Chris for granted. Chris tears up and tells her kids that she’s proud of them.

BuddyHe shaved his beard and got rid of the glasses! Bob tells Buddy he looks like a President. Dolvett calls Buddy’s suit, “crispy.” I like it all. Buddy looks very official. He calls life more colorful now and feels like he’s “finally taking my swing at life.” Buddy’s wife and their very tiny baby stroll through the door! Yay! Buddy gets to hang with his little baby. They hug and can’t let go for a while. Once they do, Buddy sees that his other son is there as well and he wraps him up in a big hug. So much hugging, Biggest Loser!

CondaHer hair is great – very pretty! Dolvett calls working with Conda “an obstacle course.” How generous. Haha. She does look pretty. And then, her daughter walks in and Conda melts into a puddle of emotion.

And in the middle of the family reunion, who else walks in but…

JeremyHe looks about the same in terms of haircut and facial hair, but he has a glow about him. I wonder if they had facials. I bet they did.

KimKim looks gorgeous. Her hair is auburn and she’s wearing a great little black dress. After reveling in her beauty, her kids come through the door and Kim is a crying and hugging mess.

The contestants are about to meet Michelle Obama. There’s a lot of build-up. Buddy compares himself to a foreign leader. And after a bunch more build-up, Michelle walks into the room and says Hi.

Aaaaand…the end. Told ya it was a short one!

Next week: Michelle Obama says “Can the first lady get a towel?” while working out with the contestants.