Hi everyone! Did you miss me?! Well, if you did, you might want to talk to your therapist, because it’s only been about 24 hours. It’s time to see who’s getting eliminated this week on The Voice.

It’s not just “You’ve got the least amount of votes and you’re gone” tonight – the bottom three singers from each team have one last chance to sing for their lives. Their coach gets to save one artist, so only two on each team will get eliminated.

After a brief recap (which, let’s just be honest, you can get right here), Carson reveals that Jordis Unga hit number one on the iTunes rock chart last night. Interesting…

Carson interviews Blake and then Christina. I’m blinded by the return of Christina’s spray tan.

Before anyone gets close to eliminated, Team Adam and Gym Class Heroes perform a song. One girl is wearing some weird combination of the Ice Queen and Bad Sandy from Grease costume. It was a nice performance, but I’m anxious to get to the eliminations. And Carson promises we will after the commercial.

… Which you don’t have to suffer through because you’re reading a recap.

But you do have to suffer through the little segment of Team Blake hanging out at a Country radio station, talking about the first time he heard his song at a radio station. The whole team gets on the radio and Blake announces a Team Blake concert on April 5 in Los Angeles. Oooh! I want to go! Where is it?!

I don’t know, because he doesn’t mention details. And now, Carson is ready to reveal who on Team Blake is in danger of going home by telling us who was saved by America.

The first safe artist is Erin Willett – the redhead who had a Broadway show happening behind her last night.

America’s next save was Germaine Paul. Seriously?! He was so bland. America, shape up and save Charlotte! Or Naia!

And the final save for Team Blake is RaeLynn. Okay, she’s cute, but not nearly as talented as Jordis, Charlotte, or Naia. I can’t believe two of these amazing singers are going home. This is not right.

So Jordis, Charlotte and Naia are off to prepare for their singing for their life.

Meanwhile, we watch Team Christina meet Jay Leno, rehearse to appear on the Tonight Show, and then do their appearance. Very nice.

Now, it’s time for the reveal. I’m afraid to hear what America chose.

The first save isn’t bad – Jesse Campbell. He sang “What a Wonderful World” last night in a beautifully pure voice.

Neither is number two – Lindsay Paveo. My only thought right now is, “There is a God.” I couldn’t handle it if Lindsay was gone too.

Anyway, the third save for Team Christina is Chris Mann. I can’t be too mad about that. He has an interesting story, being an opera singer and all. Christina doesn’t look too happy about that.

Ashley, Sera, and Moses are the singers who need to sing for their lives.

Naia Kete sings “If I Were a Boy” by Beyonce to try to save her skin.

Her Performance: She has decent energy, but she’s pitchy, has lost her tone, and doesn’t sound nearly as interesting or in control as she did last night.

Blake’s Comments: He wished she could have done reggae. Naia snaps back that she couldn’t choose a reggae song because the producers wouldn’t let her. Ouch on all counts.

How Safe is She?: Hard to answer at this stage, but Jordis and Charlotte are amazing and I think both of them would have to majorly screw up for Naia to stay. Or Blake would really have to want to hear some reggae.

Charlotte Sometimes sings “Iris” by the Goo Goo Dolls.

Her Performance: She sounds like she’s forcing it a little, but she’s appropriately emotional. I think it helps that there’s a line in the song that says, “and I don’t want to go home right now.” Or hurts. She’s a little scattered and is actually crying. Sing through that pain, Charlotte!

Blake’s Comments: They didn’t let him make any.

How Safe is She?: Without hearing Blake speak, hard to say. I think it comes down to Jordis – if she’s as polished as she usually is, I think Blake will pick her. But I have to root for my girl, Charlotte!

Speak of the devil, Jordis Unga is up, singing “Wild Horses” by The Rolling Stones

Her Performance: Joris is controlled and polished. She sounds leagues better than Naia or Charlotte (I’m loathe to say), and unless Blake is looking for someone with a unique sound, Jordis has this in the bag.

Before we hear who Blake would save, Carson asks the other judges who they would save.

Christina would save Jordis. Cee Lo would also save Jordis. And Adam makes three – Jordis for him also.

But only Blake’s opinion matters, and he chooses Jordis.

Well there go my two favorite contestants on Team Blake. Booo!

And because we only have 15 minutes left, we’re straight on to the Team Christina performances.

First up is Ashley De La Rosa singing “Paris, Ooh La La” by Grace Potter and the Nocturnals.

Her Performance: It’s more impressive than last night by far. She has power behind her voice, struts her stuff around the stage and really works the crowd. I’m impressed.

How Safe is She?: She’s definitely the one to outdo. Sera would have to sing much better than Ashley or Christina would really want to see what she could do with a hip hop artist to not choose Ashely.

Sera Hill is singing “Vision of Love” by Mariah Carey in hopes that she gets saved.

Her Performance: Her voice has great tone and she sings with such ease and comfort. There’s an amazing level of professionalism there. tHE crowd is eating it up, cheering for her even before she reaches her last phrase. Wow!

How Safe is She?: On any other team, I’d say she has Ashley beat, but Christina loves a good performer, and Ashley is a natural at the performance part. Sera is a pure singer.

For his last ditch effort, Moses Stone sings “Break Even (Falling to Pieces)” by The Script.

His Performance: I love this song, so I enjoyed his performance for that reason. While I’m impressed that he sang the whole thing when he hasn’t been trained as a singer, but he doesn’t yet possess the knowledge of his voice or the control to really sing. His voice cracks at inopportune moments (and not artfully). It was fine for where he is personally, but not good enough for The Voice.

How Safe is He?: After two stellar performances by Ashley and Sera, the only prayer Moses has is that Christina is seriously jonesing for a hip hop artist.

Before we find out who on Team Christina is safe, we find out who the other judges think should be safe.

Cee Lo immediately says Sera. Adam talks about how proud he is of everyone, but would choose Ashley. Blake would also choose Ashley.

And now it’s Christina’s turn. Who will she save? Christina loves a good performer, so Ashley de La Rosa will be continuing in the competition.

And so ends the evening. America, I’m really disappointed in you. BRING BACK CHARLOTTE SOMETIMES!

Anyway, next Monday, Team Adam and Team Cee Lo go head to head.

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