Last night’s 30 Rock season finale was exactly what a season finale should be – a nice finish that ties up some loose ends while fraying a few others. We begin with Liz (Tina Fey) waking up to an already productive Criss (James Marsden). He wants to renovate the second floor as proof of their commitment, but refuses to let Liz pay for it. He’s on his way out the door to sell hotdogs in “Van-der-beek,” his business on wheels, but before he goes he questions Liz’s commitment to their future and classifies her as a “bailer,” but she disagrees and offers the fact that she’s still watching Smash as proof of her ability to commit. Good point.

At work later that morning, Hazel confronts Liz because she has nowhere to live, scrubbing herself with a sponge as proof of her destitution. She wants to live with Liz but Liz claims the need for boundaries (possible Criss corollary). Jenna’s happiness at the news sparks a fight with Hazel when Jenna (Jane Krakowski) speculates she’ll have to move to the Bay Area like that was her plan all along and she looks forward to reading Hazel’s obituary as the “least famous person alive.” Hazel is distraught and must find a way to stay in the city. Later she confronts Kenneth and guilts him into offering him shelter, seeing as he only has one current roommate (an apparent victim of elder abuse in one of the more disturbing cutaways in while).

Liz leaves the break room and walks into Jack’s office where Jack (Alec Baldwin) asks Liz to use her credentials to help him and Avery (Elizabeth Banks) renew their vows, but Liz says that’s a sign of deeper problems and brings up Avery’s mother Diana (Mary Steenburgen), who promptly shows up with her daughter to make things awkward (Diana and Jack made out while Avery was behind enemy lines in North Korea if this is your first 30 Rock in a while).

Tracy (Tracy Morgan) has his own issue – The Arian Patriot Party has elected him “Man of the Year” for being a horrible stereotype – including his role in the latest Pixar movie as a lazy bottle of grape soda. Ivy League professor Cornell West (who Tracy later mistakes for Roots drummer ?uestlove) stops by to ask Tracy about how he became such an unfortunate stereotype; who were his black role models growing up? Everyone realizes there’s a problem when Tracy’s list includes Darth Vader, ninjas, and black licorice in the shape of his dad. So Tracy, Grizz, and Dotcom set off for a civil rights museum to look for roll models. Once they get there, Tracy finds what he’s looking for – not Fredrick Douglas (“Two first names? Next.”) and not Rosa Parks the person, but Rosa Parks the outfit plus Tracy’s head in the reflection, which makes him look like a stouter Tyler Perry and gives him the idea to start his own production company. And thus closes almost an entire season of 30 Rock in which Tracy Morgan never needed to be in the same country as his cast mates in order to mail in his completely separate and not at all interweaving storyline (although anytime someone wants to point out how devoid of talent and originality Tyler Perry is, this recapper is all for it).

Back to characters who still interact with each other, Jack is watching a talk show featuring Avery and Scott (the other North Korean hostage turned propaganda newscaster) when he realizes they’re using their fingers to type out some sort of code to each other, which Jack later learns was romantic at times but was never physical, Avery says, unlike when he made out with her mom. Another good point.

While thinking over her conversation with Criss, Liz watches a man put a plant in a stroller, which sets off a Pixar-inspired Randy Newman montage where she takes the plant to the park, teaches it how to ride a bike, drops it off at college, comforts it when it comes out of the closet, and beams into its eyes as an old woman while they welcome a new baby plant into their family. Once she snaps out of it, she calls Criss who is busy selling his 100% pork artisanal hot dogs. She tells him she isn’t going to give up on him, but he is still determined to get the money for the renovation himself and won’t see her until he does. Later Liz thinks she sees Criss’ van on TV as a part of a bank robbery, but is then relieved to find out he’d sold the van that morning – to a meth head – and was already getting started on the renovations in their home. This one might work out after all.

Back in the break room, Hazel’s impression of Kenneth’s other roommate evokes a snicker from him, which drives Jenna, the most consistently petty character on television, into a jealous fit at the thought that Hazel might have more power over Kenneth than she does. Jenna uses her “assets” to secure a copy of Kenneth’s recently rejected application to the page program. The writing on the submitted copy isn’t Kenneth’s, but it does match the handwriting on a memo written by, you guessed it, Hazel. Kenneth confronts Hazel and she admits that at first she was just trying ruin him – much like the raccoon currently taking up residence in his kitchen – but since then she’s fallen in love with him. He tries to abstain but her “charm” is just too much and they kiss, resulting in whatever the opposite of steamy is.

The main event of the episode is the ceremony for the renewal of Jack and Avery’s wedding vows, and we realize many people are wondering if the “speak forever now or forever hold your peace” line is a part of Liz’s remarks as officiator. Diana, who is already plastered when Liz gets there, certainly has a right to speak. As does Scott, who loves Avery and is only there to say so, and finally, you guessed it, Kim Jong Ill, currently disguised as the greatest waiter ever, who also intends on speaking up and taking Avery with him.

When Liz catches wind of a possible row she immediately finds Jack and Avery and asks if she can take the line out – but they both say no – they refuse to quit, and perhaps this is an appropriate final epiphany for the season. Perhaps very few people watch 30 Rock according to the ratings, but they refuse to quit. Sure NBC is the 4th place network and hasn’t had a legit hour-long drama in a while, and sure they threaten to cancel 30 Rock season after season, but it just doesn’t happen.

Liz starts the ceremony roast style, but when she’s pushed to continue the big moment arrives, but to everyone’s surprise, no one objects; Diana is too passed out to object, Scott’s deaf significant other is keeping his lips sealed, and Kim admits he “just want to see Avery happy.” Liz is relieved, until Jack and Avery both snap at the fact that no one objected to what is clearly a doomed relationship: “How can you stay silent when there’s so much to object to?” This leads to a series of revelations wherein they both admit, simultaneously, that they only got married in the first place because she was pregnant, and since both are incapable of failure they kept it going. Somehow this leads to them realizing they’re not in love, which results in a divorce, performed by Liz, on the spot.

And although that would’ve been a fine place to leave off, one more scene remains; Jack shows up to Liz’s place to give her a thank you gift for officiating – the remote control holder she wanted from Sky mall. She’s thankful, tells Jack about her and Criss’ decision to try to have a family, and asks for advice. He abstains, having been divorced multiple times now, but she insists, so he admits to having a list of 20 successful parenting tips beginning with #1: Don’t over think the names; stick with kings because there’ll never be a president Katniss.

And thus closes another season of 30 Rock, one where only the perpetually single Liz Lemon is in a healthy committed relationship. What’s next, CBS moving Two and a Half Men into direct competition at 8:30 in the fall? As Jack says George Bush said (while captaining the soon-to-sunken-under-its-own-weight Mr. Waterboat) to a bunch of drunken debutants: “Bring ’em on.”