I’m perpetually 12 years old. It causes me to giggle at any slightly sexual reference and explains why half the shows on my DVR are animated. It also compels me to change the channel when I see something on the guide with a title like Destroyed In Seconds.

This show can be accused of a lot of things, but false advertising isn’t one of them. Seconds after clicking over, a Danish fireworks factory goes up in spectacular festive flames. It might be the world’s only video with people not smiling about fireworks. The whole thing was like a Michael Bay student film.

So I wondered which network was bringing me this cavalcade of midday goodness. Planet Green, you say? Alright. Wait…what?

I’m no ecologist, but I was failing to see what was so green about an oil tanker explosion. Or an episode of L.A. Ink. Or a special on how to beat the house at your friendly neighborhood Vegas casino (although after seeing Casino for the first time, I was almost afraid to win … even on accident).

Turns out, the latest Discovery Channel network spawn is going extinct just short of its fourth birthday when it morphs into Destination America over Memorial Day weekend. Alas, Planet Green, we hardly knew ye.

In the meantime, you get to enjoy one final week of a 2-hour lunch buffet of destruction.

By the way, Destination America looks to be taking the most testosterone-y parts of the Discovery Channel family and putting them all in one place. It’s like Clark Griswold’s travel journal!
 

This week’s Dude Tube Picks to Click

 

Clint Eastwood Week Monday through Thursday, 8 p.m., AMC
AMC is offering a week-long grunt of appreciation to arguably the toughest tough guy ever to squint his way across the screen. And not a Spaghetti Western to be found. It seems a bit strange that the week doesn’t open with Dirty Harry (instead it runs on Tuesday) – especially when three of the four days feature Detective Callahan. But that’s a quibble. It’s Clint. Sit back and enjoy.
 

Office Space Monday, 7 p.m., Comedy Central

Pieces of flair. Oh Faces. The violent gangland-style execution of office equipment. And Bill Lumbergh. In the middle of it all is a bored Peter Gibbons, putting the Peter Principle to the ultimate test. At some point, most of us have been there. Sure, you’ve seen it a million times, but who cares? It’s still funny. From the “Jump To Conclusions” mat to Milton’s mumbling threats, it’s a quote goldmine.
 

Inglorious Basterds Friday, 8 p.m., TNT

In the hierarchy of Quentin Tarantino films, there may not be many who place Basterds within the top three. But Aldo Raine and Hans Landa are worthy of repeated viewings. Oh, and the idea to have the Germans speak (gasp!) German … it’s like salt-and-pepper potato chips. So simple, yet always so good.
 

Insane or Inspired: 25 Wildest Homebrewed SuperheroesFriday, 10 p.m., Syfy

This new entry to the Syfy family doesn’t figure to have a ton of staying power – how many variations of the standard clip show can cable TV sustain? Don’t answer that. But what caught my eye was the idea of watching videos of homemade superheroes. Mostly because I’m desensitized to violence and enjoy watching people who overestimate their own athletic prowess get their comeuppance (remember, I’m perpetually 12). Regardless, there’s no way this show would be complete without this guy.
 

The Indianapolis 500Sunday, 12 p.m. ET, ABC

Apparently none of the men who’ve won this race have heeded the words of Ron Burgundy. Otherwise, they’d know the dangers of chugging milk after spending 500 overheated miles in a sweaty car. Still, it remains an unofficial kickoff to summer and Jim Nabors’ yearly rendition of “Back Home Again In Indiana” is one of the great American sports traditions. Plus, could 2012 finally be the year an Andretti takes the checkered flag?