Tara speaks! And no, it wasn’t “awww, love you guys!” it was an ominous decree, “I’ll never forgive you for this.” Poor Sookie and Lafayette because really, as insufferable as Season 4 Tara was, it was a shock when she was (seemingly) killed off by Debbie Pelt while acting as Sookie’s human shield. But what to make of vampire Tara remains to be seen. At the very least she appears to have a higher functioning brain stem than the beginning of the episode would have you believe (seriously how much more of a beating can that poor house take?).

In older, but maybe not so much wiser, vampire land, Eric and Bill remain imprisoned by Roman and The Authority for their half ass attempt in joining the vampire relocation program thanks to Nora. After some Gitmo-level interrogation and torture, neither crack and are dragged back to Roman for judgement and the true death. With their lives quite literally at stake (sorry), the ever crafty Eric offers to exchange Russell for their freedom. After all, Russell really started a lot of this anti-vampire tolerance mess back in Season 3 and reverberated into some bad decision in Season 4. The bloodbath at the Festival of Tolerance, the rocket launch into Antonia’s coven, Nan’s gooey death, all added fuel to the fire started by Russell. The Authority agrees, and it’s revealed that Russell is still recuperating from his wounds, but likely not for long given the faster, more satisfying pace of this young season.

The subplots developed as well, with the newly gay, newly vampired Reverend Newlin making the talk show rounds discussing his new found tolerance and ruffling a few feathers along the way. His attempt to barter with Jessica for Jason “you could chip a fang on his ass” Stackhouse, was particularly hilarious, but Jessica refused the deal and is clearly not so happy with her f-buddy status with Jason. Her de facto Greek life may be fun, but how many keg stands can you watch a c0-ed do before you get bored?

Fan favorite Pam has been getting a lot of screen time (yay!), and her back story finally comes to light. Working as a madame in a San Francisco brothel (naturally) at the turn of the last century, she is saved by Eric from a rapist on the street. Ever the cool, handsome vamp’, Eric mesmerizes Pam and vice versa. Was there a love story to be had before Pam was turned? Sure she misses her maker and has no idea Eric is imprisoned, but her longing has almost a tinge of lost lover to it.

The werewolves are a bit of a snooze so far, but maybe it’s because of Alcide’s continued wearing of clothes? Regardless, the power struggle hasn’t gained much traction, and not having Sam behind the bar at Merlotte’s dealing with the crazies is disappointing. But not as disappointing as the lack of demon baby! Where has Michael been this season? Why suddenly is the house fire suddenly thanks to some Gulf War curse alluded to by Terry’s war buddy Patrick? Arlene may be one of the best ancillary characters, but her sniveling confusion needs to turn around stat.

Tune in next week!