Arguably the best (and by best I mean engaging and entirely watchable) plotline this season other than Pam, is the Eric/Bill power struggle as they continually whip out their fangs to see whose are bigger. Oddly nonplussed having their iStakes glowing and on the ready to strike, the unlikely duo returns to Bon Temps just in time to catch Sookie get within striking distance of Alice’s presumably 0% body fat no no place. Unfortunately Sookie blows it (and not in THAT way) by throwing up peach schnapps and god knows what else on Alcide’s shoes. Bill and Eric have a well deserved laugh, and it’s off to find the Russell! Because, as Sookie put it so well, “A 3,000 year old vampire wants to suck my blood. Must be a Thursday!”

Using her mind-reading powers on a glamoured, dim witted employee of Alcide’s, the trio make their way from the parking garage where a veiled female member of The Authority (Nora?) unearthed Russell, to the creepiest hospital pretty much ever. Dark, rat infested and as luck would have it, full of people both pre and post Russell snack. Slowly but surely the get closer with fearless Sookie guiding the way. In typical True Blood form, they find Russell just in time for the credits to roll. Sigh.

Elsewhere in Bon Temps and wherever the hell Terry and Patrick wandered off things weren’t so tightly packaged (was that another Alcide pun? sorry). Terry and Patrick manage to find one of their army comrades who they believe is responsible to torching their homes. But of course it’s not that easy, and it’s turns out they were cursed by a dying Muslim woman and doomed to die by the Smoke Monster-esque Ifrit. So, does that mean Terry and Aileen’s house wasn’t torched by demon-baby Michael? Hmmm… things are wearing a bit thin over in these parts.

Thankfully we have Pam! Really coming into her own as a maker, Pam recruits Tara as a new bartender at Fangtasia and ol’ T is as cranky as ever. Jessica comes in all teased and gothed up and offers Tara her friendship and some juicy insights to vampire life (ie sex+feeding=awesome). However, just as they pinkie swear they’ll be besties forever, dumb ass Hoyt wanders in and offers himself to Tara sparking a serious bathroom cat fight that spills into the next episode.

The shifters, arguably the most friendly and benign of the supernaturals in the parish, are suddenly under attack. Last episode, Sam stumbled upon his two friends shot in the head and later finds himself and Luna under frighteningly similar circumstances after a gang in Obama masks speeds by in a truck. Unfortunately all the town has for a police force revolves around increasingly insufferable Jason Stackhouse and ever-bumbling rube Andy Bellefleur. Jason continues to have flashbacks to his parents’ death, and one can only imagine his few braincells come back to the conclusion that vampires are bad and he hates them again?

The Authority and Lafayette sadly didn’t contribute much this week. Roman is still brooding and mourning the death of the creepy child chancellor and Lafayette is still struggling with the internal demon he picked up in Mexico. He has a vision of Jesus’, as does his mother and that’s all we get from arguably the best character of seasons 1 and 2. I won’t hold it against you, True Blood. The season is young.

Tune in next week!