Don’t Trust the B—- in Apt 23: Love and Monsters…
It was only the second episode of the season, but tonight’s holiday-themed “Don’t Trust the B—-” was probably my favorite of both seasons thus far. It started off with June and Chloe finally agreeing on something: They love Halloween. While June is excited to finally not be a part of a couple’s costume, Chloe’s reason isn’t clear just yet – but stay tuned.
James shows up, and we learn that he throws a yearly “Positivity Party” on October 31st because he hates scary things. His e-vite to the girls is a Hello-Kitty-esque animated cat bouncing around the screen, which I found to be creepier then ghosts and goblins.
That evening, June and Mark go see a Halloween-themed chick flick, and who should they see a few rows ahead of them? Chloe, who’s snuggling up to a handsome stranger. June confronts her in the bathroom, calling her out on her unusual behavior. Chloe confesses that she is, in fact, dating him, and begrudgingly agrees to have him over to meet June.
To June’s surprise and delight, Chloe and Ben seem to embody the perfect couple: They laugh, finish each others’ sentences, and touch frequently. Even Eli (in his first appearance this season) chimes in from his window to agree. But then two things happen: First, Ben’s disgusting friend Zonk shows up to go to a hockey game with him, and hits on June. Then, Chloe snaps back into character, revealing that Ben is the victim of her annual Halloween trick.
You see, every year at James’ party, Chloe finds someone to get to know, and make their worst fear come true. One year, she hypnotizes some poor guy into grabbing his nether region every time he hears his own name, and the next she becomes a nutritionist and makes a girl gain a whole lot of weight. She chose Ben last year, and whilst making him fall for her, she learned that his mother had abandoned him when he was young. This year, she was going to break his heart by dumping him and reminding him of the pain he felt when his mom left.
Of course, none of this goes over well with June, who tells Mark she’s going to appeal to Chloe’s inner humanity (if it exists at all). She shows up at James’ party as a hobbit (complete with faux hair-covered feet) and shows Chloe a video she made. Personally, I found it to be pretty lame, and wished June would have used this time to talk to a very cute (real) fireman who had just hit on her, but that wasn’t in the cards. At the same time, James (dressed as an angel) greets Mark (as the devil) at the door, which begins a face-off that lasts until the morning, when Mark realizes he’s angry because he’s living with his girlfriend whom he doesn’t love anymore.
Meanwhile, Chloe tricks June, telling her Ben is in the bathroom, while she sneaks off with him to put her plan into action. But it turns out Ben is smarter than Chloe gave him credit for (and Australian, apparently). It seems that he saw what she did the previous years and decided to get her back by making HER greatest fear come true: Living out a real life chick flick. He reminded her they’d gone on a carriage ride, had a snowball fight, shared their feelings and now she (gasp) actually cared about him. In reality, he’s close with his mom, and he was set to leave NYC tomorrow. He dared Chloe not to show up at the airport in the ultimate rom-com cliche.
Back at apartment 23, Chloe is freaking out: sticking her head in the oven and suddenly developing the urge to put on sweatpants and cook. Eli explains that in Chloe’s chick-flick life, June is the quirky, supportive best friend, which doesn’t sit well with her. She goes to work, where Zonk shows up to tell her that Ben really does like Chloe. June calls to tell her roommate, but Chloe is one step ahead of her: After having breakfast with a hungover girl dressed as a bumblebee, she decides she has to go to the airport to live out her role as the leading lady in love.
So Chloe hails a cab to La Guardia, where she tells Ben that she really likes him because he tricked her. He becomes confused, and the “movie” ends unresolved, with Chloe getting dragged out for having a switchblade (that Ben planted on her) in her purse. But they’re both confident their story isn’t over. What a fairy tale ending!
As the credits roll, June finally goes to look for her fireman, but when she shows up at the firehouse, who should she find but Zonk. I guess her love story is incomplete as well. See you next week!