It’s the Semifinals this week and that means two rounds of dances; one in a dance style the All-Stars picked for each other and the other to a song off Michael Jackson’s “Bad” album.  Let’s get to it!

Melissa & Tony: They have the unfortunate task of dancing “The Caveman Hustle,” which includes a giant hologram of a T-rex.  This entire routine is embarrassing and honestly makes me uncomfortable.  Len thinks “they captured the flavor of the caveman” and Bruno says something intelligible about whiplash.  Carrie Ann “loved it” but thought her balance was off during The Hustle.  Judges’ Scores: 27.5.

Their Argentine Tango to “Dirty Diana” is much better with amazing lifts that I’ve never seen on 15 seasons of the show.  Bruno calls her a “dirty, nasty, devil of a woman.” Carrie Ann says, “That was beyond anything I could imagine for you.” Judges’ Scores: 30.

Shawn & Derek:  They’re performing and Indian dance Bhangra to the Knight Rider theme. Of course these two pull it off and make it look like something that makes sense, even though it makes absolutely none.  Bruno says, “I love it, mega hit!”  Carrie Ann says, “That was a really challenging routine.  Fantastic job!”  Len says, “This dynamite was fantastic!” Judges’ Scores: 30.

Derek choreographed an Argentine Tango to “Bad.”  That is all you need to know.  The judges love it.  Judges’ Scores: 29. 

Apolo & Karina:  What does a “Big top Jazz Routine” look like?  Every nightmare I’ve ever had about the circus (which is an alarming amount).  It’s incredibly awkward, involves rings, mirrors and my least favorite but  somehow always present on DWTS, mimes.  Carrie Ann says, “You were out of sync and a lot of the dismounts were sloppy.”  Len calls Apolo “a fighter.”  Bruno calls it “a blend of Cirque de sole and Clockwork Orange.” Judges’ Scores: 27.

Apolo and Karina get serious for their Rumba to “Man in the Mirror.”  The dance is beautiful and the judges love it.  Carrie Ann says, “You reached into my heart and melted it.”  Len says, “It was like the sea.  It had wave after wave of effortless motion.” Judges’ Scores: 30.

Emmitt & Cheryl:  Watching Emmitt perform an Espionage Lindy Hop is pure entertainment.  Len “likes the concept, the energy, the fun.”  Bruno says, “That was definitely out there…like a Looney tune version of James Bond.”  Carrie Ann calls it “his most animated performance yet.” Judges’ Scores: 27.

After struggling in rehearsal with his Argentine Tango, Emmitt manages to pull off the routine.  Len says, “Well done.”  Bruno “loves his intensity” and Carrie Ann says, “What I appreciate is that you really brought your A-game.” Judges’ Scores: 27.

Kelly & Val:  How is Kelly still on this show?  I’m not sure she’s too happy about it either, because she  looks permanently miserable.  But I guess I would be too if I had to dance a “Surfer Flamenco.”  Of course the dance ends with them splashing around a pool in bathing suits and I’m not surprised that Val’s suit is more revealing than Kelly’s.  Bruno says, “ I think you’ve been upstaged by the speedo.”  Carrie Ann says, “It was all Paso and it didn’t really have the Flamenco.” Judges’ Scores: 25.5.

Kelly has problems with intimacy so that’s what is going to make her Rumba so difficult. I’m finding it difficult to believe that BS. The judges love the dance.  Bruno calls it “smoldering.”  Carrie Ann says, “It’s beautiful” and Len says, “You did it wonderful, well done.” Judges’ Scores: 28.5. 

With a double elimination tomorrow only three couples will make it to the finals and based on tonight’s performances,

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