MV5BMTc5ODcwMTMyMl5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwOTAyOTQwOQ@@._V1._SX640_SY426_“My tragedy is bigger than yours”

You know things are back to normal in the Shameless universe when Jimmy’s “rich white boy” problems are no longer the biggest issue at the forefront.  Ever since it was discovered that Fiona’s not exactly a “team player”, those bitches at work have had it out for her. And we’re not just talking about rude comments, these girls play rough, sticking thumbtacks in her register drawer, and locking her in the bathroom in an attempt to frame her for smoking.  Good thing she’s got too many of her own problems to truly engage these rivals, with 6 kids to feed, and five potential fiascos brewing at any time, not to mention the fact that she doesn’t smoke Parliaments.

Unfortunately, poor Debbie isn’t as impenetrable. After she’s finally mastered the ability to hold her breadth under water-102 seconds and counting- she’s amped to be one of the first patrons at the town pool for the summer season. If only Frank had prepared her for the mean girls that patrol it with their already-developed bodies and itsy bitsy bikinis. Hey Deb, screw those bitches; I loved your paddy hat!

Needless to say, these tween devils don’t stop at just harassing her, and after Debbie attempts to compete with their early-arrival voluptuousness using some strategically placed ketchup packets and Fiona’s swimsuit, they convince the poor girl to dive in the water.  She might be prepared for hazardous dunking, but not for a Carrie-style incident when the blood red condiment leaks all over her white bikini and the Lohan-wannabes tell the whole pool she’s had a messy period.

Fortunately, she’s got the tough as nails, Fiona, as a big sister and after a pep talk in which the eldest Gallagher reminds her younger sister of what stock she comes from (particularly touching, Emmy, I’m still pulling for your Emmy!), Debbie’s back at that pool dunking one of the blonde hoes and showing her what happens when you mess with a Gallagher.

I guess Frank’s DNA is good for something, though that’s about it. On the bright side, he’s finally decided to give up the cancer ruse, telling Carl that the cancer pills/TUMS worked and that the poor kid’s finally cured.  Of course, this miraculous event occurs though, right as Frank needs his young son’s help with a bit of a back yard project.

Oh yeah, the city is working on an old sewer main and has to dig up some of the Gallagher’s yard. Pretty commonplace, one would think… but not when you have the body of sweet Aunt Ginger feeding the worms in said area. Frank buried the old lady there after her natural demise so he could keep cashing in on her social security and disability checks, and now it’s his turn to dig her up. Nobody likes an unaccounted-for body, especially city-workers.

Despite initially trying to shirk his responsibility, Fiona is quick to remind him, and Frank is soon enlisting not only Carl, but also the rest of the kids to help. After busting a toxic waste pipe however, it’s clear that this project is gonna be a shit storm.  Even his fib to the drunks down at The Alibi that there’s stolen jewelry buried in the yard, motivating them to lend a hand, can’t make the project any easier. Naturally, he throws in the towel before the job’s finished and all Fiona can do is take over the campaign, minus the help of a distracted Jimmy.

That’s because Jimmy can’t get over the fact that his dad’s been sucking Ian’s dick. Suffering through the throes of his first family tragedy, the tough guy is rendered practically useless. It’s not that he’s not comfortable with the gay thing(clearly- V, thanks for noticing those jeans of his, thought I was the only one!)its just that he’s not used to messy family drama of his own. Fiona, of course wants nothing to do with this pity party and she is quick to remind him of the Gallagher’s never-ending plight, as well as the fact that on this side of town, his dad aint that bad. She better be careful though, because Estefania is there to lend a sympathetic ear, among other things.

Fiona is right though, especially since Jimmy’s dad is the sexy Harry Hamlin. And even after last week’s fiasco, this guy just can’t quit Ian. Actually he wants Ian to break into his home -the one his drunk of a wife changed the locks on- just so he can get some of his stuff back. I thought he’d want underwear and or his computer, but like any well born, he’s more worried about the artwork and wine collection.  He should be worried about his loose cannon of a wife though, because apparently nobody F’s with her either.

After Hamlin (its more fun to call him that) successfully appeals to Ian’s soft-spot for a man in trouble, the teen rounds up a crew including Mickey (sweet pre-larceny kiss, boys) to carry out the deed. In one of those you-knew-this-would-happen-cause-you’ve-watched-enough-Shameless scenarios, Mrs. Jimmy is roused from her Lunesta-assisted sleep and comes barreling down the stairs like she’s Annie Oakley.  Apparently booze and pain pills don’t screw with her aim, as she gets a direct shot on Mickey, right in the butt.

Naturally, Doctor Hamlin is the only one who can rectify the situation and in quite a weird turn of events, he ends up pulling the bullet out of Mickey’s bloody butt cheek, right on the island in the Gallagher’s kitchen. Hey, I think it’s the first time Mickey was happy to have something exit that area this season- perhaps this threesome will happen after all. Just don’t tell Carl, because after Frank’s thoughtful explanation,and Lip’s clues, the boy is just beginning to wrap his boggled mind around the logistics of gay sex, ie. where you put the junk.

Speaking of junk, Molly’s pretty comfortable talking openly about her “girl penis” much to the chagrin and sadness of the older Gallagher’s. Though once Fiona breaks the news to her that she’s probably a boy, the poor girl/boy seems completely lost. I’m interested to see how the show handles this delicate storyline without exploiting the young kid. If anything though, her presence has served to strengthen the bond between Lip and Mandy. Yes, Fiona’s fears were right, Milkovich has caught serious feelings for Lip, what with his whole “knight in shining armor for Molly” routine. Though at the start fo the episode things aren’t looking so good.

After a boys’ trip with Kev to go buy fireworks in Indiana leads to some guy-talk, Lip starts to fear that things are getting too serious between him and his former friend with benefits. All Kev is trying to do is point out how great Lip’s situation is (constant sex, a sweet girl doing things for him) but when the bartender mistakenly labels Lip’s relationship as “ghetto married”, the Gallagher can’t help but hear wedding bells and run for the hills.  Lucky for Mandy, she has a stand-up best friend in Ian, who reminds Lip not to take out his prior baggage on Mandy, and soon they are reunited amid the squalor of the Milkovich compound.

By prior baggage, Ian of course means slutty and misguided Karen, who while dating Lip, screwed his dad, got pregnant with a random man’s baby, and then left town without said baby or even a goodbye. In a scene that strongly suggests he’s found his closure, Lip finally calls up the vixen and tells her answering machine everything that he should have said to her face last season. I hope this means Karen will be back soon though! I have a sweet spot in my heart for that nympho Lolita!

And speaking of nymphos, Jody has finally let his freak flag fly once again. Festooning Sheila’s home with a  virtual sex dungeon worth of “pacifiers for your anus”, vibrators, dildos, and leather slings, she is at first worried about having to be the submissive, but is soon preoccupied by hiding the accouterments from Father Pete and the terminal nun he’s dropping off at her home.  In case you forgot, Shelia still offers up her house as a hospice for those in need, but don’t dare judge her lifestyle, especially if she confides in you, or your pious ass will be out on the street.  The smug nun, despite her vow of silence learns this the hard way when she blogs about Ms. Jackson’s extra curricular activities, implying that God might not approve.

Though even if God does, the sweetly green Child Services Agent who shows up to check on the Gallagher’s home situation certainly does not.  After seeing what can only be described as a Requiem For A Dream-style crescendo of atrocious behavior in front of minors, Frank’s seemingly forgotten douchebag move of calling Deyfus a few weeks ago looks like it is going to create some major problems for the family.

Oh yeah, and the award for most squirm-inducing scene of the night goes to Kev and V for mixing up the ingredients to fertilize her mother/baby surrogate, in front of the woman! Watching Kev open the bathroom door after just beating his meat only to have his mother-in-law insert said juice, along with V’s egg, into her open lady area, right in front them, was certainly eye-opening, even for Shameless.  And need I remind you that this is the same show that features a pig-tailed Chloe Grace Moretz look -like who brags openly about her man bulge!