scott-disick-Lord-DisickIt’s another week in Miami for Kim and Kourtney “working at Dash.”  And by “working at Dash,” I mean relaxing in their giant mansion.

Kim tells Kourtney about her trip to Italy with Kanye and Kourtney looks like she would be more entertained watching paint dry.  Khloe is visiting and can’t stop talking about kegel muscles is also waiting to hear if she got the job co-hosting the The X-Factor, which we all know she did.   Of course Scott can’t handle all the women talk so now he’s insisting that he not accompany Kourtney on her promotional tour in London because he needs “guy time.”  I’m just upset that the Kardashians are promoting things internationally – sad face 🙁

Khloe finds out she got the job and you can see the look of panic on her face when she realizes it’s the first time she’ll have to have a discernable skill.  She packs up and rushes back to LA for rehearsal but not without groping herself and then Kim.

At rehearsals Khloe struggles and calls Kris to vent and even suggests trying to get out of her contract.  Momager does what she does best, and makes sure her kids keep raking in the dough.  She tells Khloe she will “finish what she started.” Wait what show is this?  Kourtney and Kim Take Miami or Khloe Gets a Real Job?

Scott is having a “royal shindig” to celebrate becoming “Lord Disick” on the last season of Keeping Up With the Kardashians.  I mean really E!?  This is a reach.  Scott takes Kourtney’s assistant costume shopping with him and makes her try on a dress.  Then he suggests she get a boob job so I’m pretty sure that’s sexual harassment.

Back on the X-Factor set and it’s the day of the first live show.  Khloe is in a panic because her make up artist is a no show, which is no good because she needs to add five more layers of make up to the seven layers she already has on.  So thank the lord above (or Lord Disick) that Momager Kris’s make up artist can make it.

Khloe is extra nervous because no one from her family or Lamar can show up to give her “that extra boost of confidence.”  Yeah and maybe if they were there they would’ve told her that her nipple is showing.  I mean what about a bra?

Kim and Kourtney depart for London and Lord Disick or as he puts it “Cinderfella,” starts setting up his party.  This includes lobsters, a throne, and a crown.  Scott even hires a butler for the evening. People are starving all around the world.  Lord Disick’s party is absolutely terrifying.  Scott enters sitting on the back of his Rolls Royce and even his “friends” look mortified.  Scott makes a toast and thanks everybody for “being a part of the Lord.”  Scott gets wasted and breaks plates and basically trashes the house. Father of two.

Kourtney and Kim have been drinking pineapple juice to see whose vagina smells better.  I’m not kidding.  Khloe is deemed the judge and she crowns Kim the winner.  I mean seriously?  I can tolerate a lot but this is low.

Once the Lord Disick party clears out, Scott begins to feel lonely and even misses his family.  He goes shopping and eats lunch alone.  “POOR” SCOTT.  Scott decides to surprise Kourtney and Mason in London.

Khloe is anxiously preparing for the X-Factor finale and while she’s getting ready her dress rips. OMG wait it’s just the lining. How about just wearing a dress that actually fits?  The show starts and she “does great” if you enjoy watching a robot host the show –vacant.

Next week Scott goes gator hunting. Fingers crossed it goes terribly wrong.