Andy-dick-DWTS-4-16-13It’s one big party on Dancing With the Stars  as the night kicks off with a giant dance number that involves everyone that’s ever worked on the show.  Tonight’s theme is Len’s “Side-by-Side Challenge” and that means each couple will have to dance, yep you guess it, “side by side” with a professional couple. What?! Can they handle the pressure!?  I mean what’s next?!  Celebrities jumping into swimming pools? Oh wait…

Ingo & Kim / Tony & Emma:  Although Ingo’s core strength is at its peak, he could use some work “down under.” Of course I’m referring to his hip action for their side by side Cha Cha.  Ingo starts to crumble under the pressure and who can blame him?  It’s really hard to wrangle a fedora while doing the Cha Cha.  Ingo looks awkward…end of story.  Len says, “I thought you kept up with the stamina and energy…you gotta get a little bit more care.”  Bruno says, “You disguise a lot of technical problems” and Carrie Ann says, “The pelvic thrusts were obviously a hit.”  Judges Scores: 21.

Jacoby & Karina/ Maks & Anna: Jacoby’s goal is to be the encore dance this and get nines this week but he’s struggling with the Jive hip action during rehearsal.  The dance starts backstage against a fake brick wall and the lighting resembles that of an actual alley at night. But once they hit the actual dance floor, Jacoby pulls the dance and his shirt off.  Bruno says, “That was like watching two stallions at the peak of their power, fighting for supremacy.”  Carrie Ann says, “I love me some Jacoby” and Len says, “You’ll never get a Len off me with that footwork.”  Judges Scores: 26.

Victor & Lindsay / Tristan & Emma:  Victor can’t concentrate during rehearsal because he found out his girlfriend of a year has been cheating on him.   YIKES.  He channels his pain into their Viennese Waltz and it’s actually pretty good.  Carrie Ann says, “I say that was a victory.”  Len says, “This is better than last week and that’s the way to go.”  Bruno says, “You’re back in the game.”  Judges Scores: 21

Ally & Mark / Tony & Whitney:  Ally needs to “work it” for her Samba and she tries to learn as much from Whitney.  Ally does alright although, it does seem like the dance lacks fluidity (not to go all Carrie Ann).  Len says, “Your bottom is the top….overall you knocked it.”  Bruno says, “Missy missy, I had no idea you could be sassy” and Carrie Ann says, “I think it went away without Whitney.”  Judges Scores: 25.

Sean & Peta / Tristan & Chelsie:  Sean is a prankster so in rehearsal he start mimicking everything Tristan does.  Now either Tristan and Peta are really good actors or they are actually really annoyed at Sean’s idea of a joke.  I’m going to go with them being actually annoyed because Sean is ANNOYING.  Their Quickstep is okay and Sean keeps up with the footwork.  Not okay, Peta’s wig.  Bruno says, “Sean what’s going on?…Tonight you turned into a swan.”  Carrie Ann says, “You’re back.  You’re bold and it was beautiful.”  Len says, “Last week a statue, this week a pigeon.”  He means it as a compliment going on to call it “his best dance so far.”  Judges Scores: 24.

Kellie & Derek / Henry & Anna  :  It’s Kellie’s first ballroom dance of the competition and she’s struggling with the Foxtrot.  Derek is struggling with Kellie struggling and seems to be wearing his mean hat in rehearsal this week.  That mean hat is literally a Fedora.  Of course their Foxtrot ends up being amazing and it could be the first time the costumes are actually beautiful.  Carrie Ann says, “That was fabulous.  You are a million dollar dancer.”  Len says, “You put the oo in smooth.”  Bruno says, “You had the glamour and the humor of Jean Harlow…”  Judges Scores: 27.

DL & Cheryl / Sasha & Chelsie:  After actually dancing last week, D.L. only wants to get better with his Tango and his plan works…for the most part.   He “walk dances” but at least he’s moving.  Len says, “It was like a decaf coffee…it didn’t have any buzz to it.”  Bruno says, “I think you went for it…so much so that you got your footing messed up.”  Carrie Ann says, “The lack of technique was evident, but i love the focus.”  Judges Scores: 18.

Zendaya & Val/ Maks & Anna:  Great news! Val and Zendaya have both never danced the Argentine Tango so good thing Maks and Anna are there to help.  The dance starts with a great mystery…MISSING JEWELS!  But it quickly becomes clear that the only mystery is how Zendaya was allowed to compete on this show.  I’m starting to think she was in the DWTS troupe last year and well all just didn’t’ notice. Bruno says, “Next to Anna you were as good and as strong.”  Carrie Ann says, “What I love about you and what makes you so special is every move you do has a story.”  Len says, “Well done that’s a gem of a dance.”  Judges Scores: 29.

Andy & Sharna / Sasha & Emma:  What can top Andy’s dance last week?  Andy dressed as Zorro for his Paso Doble and that means A LOT of eye liner in addition to a mask.  It starts with him zip-lining  across the ballroom screaming and ends with Andy fighting with a cape.  Carrie Ann says, “After the entrance it kind of fell apart.”  Len basically laughs and Bruno says, “I think it as indescribable…the only thing missing was Cloris Leachmen.”  RUDE.  Judges Scores: 18.