1. Long Island Medium

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It’s been 6 excruciatingly long months since we last heard from Theresa, Larry, and the gang. Luckily, Spirit says that this Sunday night that’ll all change because The Caputo’s are back for another season of shellacked hair, gorgeous prosciuttto, and oh yeah, a little communion with the dead! What’s it to ya? Screw the haters who liken Theresa and her God-given talents to profiteering quacks like  Jackie Stallone or Miss. Cleo, because the naysayers clearly haven’t seen this addictive show. C’mon, you know you cry almost every episode!!!!

 2. The Real Housewives of New Jersey

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Boy, my brain is really back in The Tri-State Area this week, but aint no shame in that! Of course I like The OC Housewives as much as the next tough guy, but at the end of the day, I’m really just counting down the days til June 2nd when my favorite thick-locked, tan-skinned, gym-pumped fam-i-lies return to butt heads for another compelling season of Garden State drama. Like the thought of a hot tray of baked ziti, spicy taylor ham, or relaxing in my air conditioned car as someone I don’t have to tip pumps my gas, this show makes me miss my home state something awful. Things got a little nasty at the end of last season (proudly and eternally team Tre!!!) so here’s hoping the ladies keep it friendlier, but still over the top, sexy, and sparkly this summer. After all, they gotta represent for the greatest State in the Union!

3. Baz Luhrmann’s The Great Gatsby

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I would be lying if I said that I wasn’t the least bit trepidacious about this clearly gorgeous flick being nothing more than a superficial and desperately hip retelling of one of my favorite books from college. That being said, if anyone’s gonna bring enigmatic Jay, doomed Daisy, and everyman Nick to the screen with honesty and authenticity it’s Leo DiCaprio, Carey Mulligan, and a welcome Tobey Maguire. Don’t let me down Mr. Lurhman, style can have substance! Kudus to you and JayZ for the awesome soundtrack though!

4. Zach Galifianakis

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Last weekend’s SNL was a bit uneven, but that had nothing to do with this hysterically plump little sprite. Yes, he’s dropping lb’s and looks great, but don’t you hope he stops now before losing that endearingly round face? I know I do! That’s because unlike other “large” physical comedians, this comic genius  realizes that being fat in itself is not funny. Rather than just hurling himself into things, Galifianakis instead relies on character and subtle wierdness to get the laugh, making his shape only part of the hysterical puzzle. High hopes and low expectations for Hangover 3, but you can guarantee that this guy will bring the funny (don’t believe me, check out the trailer).

5. American Idol Drama

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No, I cannot tell you the name of a single contestant. In fact, I’m still not even sure what Keith Urban’s  speaking voice sounds like! But you best believe I am up on every juicy tidbit of the Mariah vs. Nicki Minage feud. Naturally I’m Team Mariah, though  I must admit that she’s lucky her lackluster debut as a judge has been overshadowed by Minage’s all around heinousness  Now the entitled rapstress is feuding with Billy Bush and the crew over at Access Hollywood, and it’s like crossover Heaven!