The Nominations

We’ve come to the bitter end, Smash fans. The two-hour season finale is also the SERIES finale, and don’t act like you didn’t see this coming. Now calm yourself down, you look ridiculous. We can get through this together, I promise.

The first half of this beautiful disaster starts with a musical montage of Ivy singing “Feeling Alright” by Joe Cocker while not feeling alright. She is with child. Derek’s child. And it’s starting to take a toll on her sanity more than anything while she decides what she’s going to do. On top of that, Tony nominations are coming out soon, and everyone’s on edge trying to see if they’re going to make it.

Ivy

Tom desperately wants to be nominated as director of Bombshell, and thinks that to get there, he needs to win the Outer Critics Circle award. He wins, but obnoxiously finds out about the results by checking his phone in the middle of a play. A major member of the Tony’s nominating committee (and a major cutie, hey!) is privy to this incident, and it doesn’t look too good for Tom.

Ivy’s terrible friends from the chorus are “concerned” that she’s “popping pills” “again” because she’s tired and sad all the time. Rather than ask her about her forbidden love child, they just question this out loud during Tony’s season.

Ana decides to take action against Derek and sue his butt for wrongful termination for giving her role to Daisy. Since everything is all about Jimmy, he gets pouty and blames Karen for not telling him that she knew the whole time what was going on. Derek promises Jerry that “he’ll take care of it,” and by that he means that he secretly pawns Ana off on a touring production of Once. She is livid, but she gets the part.

Karen, sweet country bumpkin Karen, confronts Daisy and tells her to leave the show so she can save her self-respect. Daisy doesn’t need her lecture, really, and tells Karen that she’s not backing down from the show. She won a fancy Outer Critics Circle award too! What did Karen think would happen?

Oh! Guess who’s back? Frank Houston. Why? Who the hell knows, this is Smash. The divorce proceedings aren’t going well, so Julia uses Eileen’s lawyer to speed things along, and Frank is none too pleased. He does everything but call Julia a bitch for sleeping with Michael Swift and blowing up their marriage. It’s alarming and almost funny how upset he is?

Sam heads down to Bombshell to chat with Ivy after curtain, just to make sure his friend really isn’t popping pills. When signing autographs, a fan asks her if she’s heard what Karen and Jimmy (ha! First names, like they’re real celebrities) said about her in the Village Voice. Ivy flippantly replies that “the only reason Hit List even made it to Broadway is because Kyle Bishop died.” WHOA.

Now everyone from Hit List hates Ivy, so she tries to apologize at the Outer Critics Circle awards. Since Jimmy is awful, he refuses to accept the apology. He also lashes out at Julia for mentioning Kyle to the media, because she’s “taking credit for his work.” Jesus. At the awards, Tom and Derek tie for best director, and Tom’s gracious speech catches the eye of that guy from the Tony’s Nominating Committee. So he’ll probably win a Tony now.

Jimmy is cranky and getting sniffles, so Karen tells him to sit out that night’s show and watch from the audience. He thinks it’s wonderful and mumbles something about Kyle being proud. Eileen is also getting cranky and decides to skip town to find her hot criminal boyfriend Nick. But he has already been released from prison. She tracks him down at a diner and tells him that he’s going to be her Tony’s date.

Tn.500_nup_155112_0587

The nominations occur. Of course Ivy and Karen are nominated for Best Actress against people like Sutton Foster and Audra McDonald. Bombshell and Hit List are both nominated for Best Show, Julia and Kyle for best book, and Tom gets his Best Director nomination. Derek is the first person to get three nominations since Bob Fosse. But he’s not happy. He confesses to a reporter what he did to Ana, and lets it go public. Wonderful timing.

The Tonys

Oh, another musical montage set to a pop song. Wait, why are they letting ALL the cast members sing? Like even the non-musical ones? This is mesmerizing and horrifying. This is their “Seasons of Love.” Also, guys – singing “Under Pressure” on the empty Tony Awards stage with your competitors? Real subtle.

Ivy still hasn’t figured out what to do about Secret Fetus. The father of Secret Fetus isn’t any prize; after the news broke about Daisy and Ana, he has been holed up in his apartment, drinking away his sorrows. Karen’s trying her darndest to cheer him up, but it’s not working too well. Ivy goes over there and tells him to snap out of it. She tries to tell him about Secret Fetus, but thinks better. She just tells him that she doesn’t want to be at the Tony’s without him. She loves him, deep down.

Daisy spun this story in the media so that she’s the victim, preyed on by Derek. She’s a nightmare, hated by the rest of the cast, and now she’s taken over the Tony’s number. Jimmy doesn’t want to perform because he’s up to something shady, AGAIN. He’s cleared out his apartment.

Karen is getting ready for the Tony’s and has the prettiest pink dress that has ever existed. Seriously. Jimmy actually shows up to go to the awards, because Julia gave him a pep talk. He gives Ana an extra ticket, and they all go together.

Daisy wins Supporting Actress, which pisses everyone off, but Kyle wins posthumously. Jimmy accepts his award, and gives a gut-wrenching speech about how much Kyle truly loved Broadway. Kyle saved up all his money to go to Boston to see the previews of Bombshell, and Karen inspired him to follow his dream.

Bombshell wins Best Original Score, much to Tom and Julia’s surprise. Derek wins for Best Choreography, for Hit List. He shows up to accept the award, and basically says “screw the haters, I love Ivy Lynn, thanks y’all” before leaving the stage. She should probably tell him about Secret Fetus.

hitlist

Derek continues on his “I Don’t Care” Tour by kicking Daisy out of her own Tony number, and replacing her with the rest of the Hit List cast – including Ana. They perform an acapella version of “Broadway Here I Come.” All is right with the world, and Derek finally feels like a good person again. Jimmy and Karen kiss on stage, and Jimmy whispers that he loves her.

And now…the moment we’ve all been waiting for. The Best Actress in a Musical is: IVY LYNN. Did you really think it would be Karen Cartwright? I was a little worried there for a minute. Ivy gives a touching speech about her mother giving her the gift of theatre, and about how she’ll give her children that gift one day. And then, Rosie O’Donnell shows up to give Bombshell the award for Best Show. Everything is absolutely perfect.

For Bombshell, at least. Jimmy has yet another secret to reveal. He tells Karen that he’s been on the lam for the past five years because he was at a party where a girl OD’d on drugs that he procured. Instead of helping her, he split and changed his name, and has been looking over his shoulder ever since. So to clear his guilt, he turned himself in. She’s fine! But he’s getting six-eighteen months on distribution of a controlled substance. No biggie?

He posted bail right before the ceremony, but he has to go back to jail after the party. He’s trying to do whatever it takes to be a good person for Karen. You know, light Tony’s talk. She looks thrilled.

karen_ivy

Tom turns on the TV to watch a number from the show that he choreographed called “Smash,” starring Karen and Ivy (cute), that he missed while he was backstage. This plays over the next few parts:

Karen drops Jimmy off at the police station, with a dramatic movie kiss. Ivy and Derek stand together, his hands on her stomach. Julia shows up at Michael Swift’s apartment, still in her ball gown. Eileen and Nick go back to her apartment with her Tony award.

Nobody’s story is finished on Smash, not by a long shot. But by forcing the show to stop at the Tony Awards, it’s at some sort of resting place. We’re not sure what’s going to happen with Karen or Ivy, or with any of their men, but it’s almost satisfying knowing that Bombshell was a hit, and that Ivy became a star. And it’s clear that Smash needed to go.

God, Smash, you were the worst. But it was always a pleasure recapping. How many years until “Let Me Be Your Star” isn’t stuck in my head anymore?