bloody boots

With the reboot of Friday the 13th green lit for an upcoming sequel (even though the latest one was abysmal at best) and with mixed reviews on the reboots of Halloween, Nightmare on Elm Street, and Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Hollywood never seems to be running short of film franchises to award mulligans to. And unlike remakes, reboots tend to take the existing material, and “re-imagine” them. The practice has both its fans and its detractors, and while I was not a fan of this new trend, I understand its place in the world. Here are five films/film series I think could benefit from a reboot treatment (I also promise to stop using any words starting with “re” as much as possible for the remainder of the article).

Author’s note: I am well aware that a few of these have been mentioned as already being in development, however, until they are in actual production, I shall continue to hope the producers/writers involved will read this article and take notes. None of them seem to return my e-mails.

reanimator

Re-Animator (1985)

I know, I know, ironic starting off with this one, right? But what could be better? One of the classic “B-grade” horror movies of the 80’s enjoying both cult status as well as critical acclaim, based of a story by the Master of Macabre H.P. Lovecraft, this cinematic marvel should be given a chance to rear it’s ugly head to the movie going public (and yes, the infamous scene that last statement referenced would be at the top of everyone’s must see list for whatever year it is released, so eat me).

 

creature black 1

The Creature From the Black Lagoon (1954)

The technical achievements that made the original possible would PALE in comparison to the way this movie could be shot now. Keep the same narrative as the first one, but set it in a modern day sub-equatorial climate where global warming has started drying up the creatures habitat. It must venture forth to defend itself against the unwary researchers, who it mistakes as threats. Social commentary and horror meet exactly where they should, right in the middle of our collective nightmares.

 

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The Hunger (1983)

In an attempt to take Vampires back from the sparkly, terrible, Abercrombie movies to which they have become accustomed to and pull them down to the depths of junkie, beautifully gaunt depravity that they achieved some 40 odd years ago, the Hunger would be the perfect vessel. Using the gothic Los Angeles/New York Rock & Roll scene of the late 80’s/early 90’s combined with raw violence of say 30 Days of Night, but set in a big city, this revamp (ha!) could bring the bloodsuckers out of the sunlight, and back into the shadows where they belong. (Bonus: David Bowie as the leader of the vamps. Come on, if he’s not an actual, vampire I don’t know who is…)

 

invisible man

The Invisible Man (1933)

With Steampunk hitting an all time high in popularity (according to most Steampunk websites) it is about time that the fans of the turn of the century counter culture phenom had a “good” movie to represent them (you heard me Wild Wild West, I said “good”). A perfect combination of Victorian-era scientific principles and industrial age paranoia combined with an anti-hero who is not only a brilliant example of science run amuck, but who also rocks a fierce pair of designer goggles, this could be to Steampunk what Blade Runner was to Cyberpunk.

 

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Hellraiser (1987)

The fifth wheel of the great horror franchises, Clive Barker’s Hellraiser has never received the credit it deserves. While other “slashers” were busy not making any god damn sense, Pinhead and his minions were busy making sense by god damning (that sounded better in my head than on paper). The point is, with such great source material (Barker’s novella The Hellbound Heart), a wonderful and underrated first film, and the current suddenly global religious climate, this would be one that could not only reinvigorate a franchise, but also shoot some life into what has become a tepid pool of PG-13 “horror” movies (let’s face it, there is no WAY this one could be anything below a solid R).

We have so many things to show you…

 

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