AGT-Tummy Talk-Season 8
It’s hard to tell what city these auditions are in on America’s Got Talent, but one thing is certain: Nick Cannon’s obsession with plaid has returned.  How anyone could pair a blue and green plaid jacket with a white and black plaid vest and yellow tie without ever realizing they look ridiculous is unfathomable.  The show returned to a few of its unremarkable tricks as well, trying to make Howie Mandel’s absence and journey to the stage into an event.  Fortunately the presence of Heidi Klum and Mel B. continues to improve the program, much like Howard Stern did when he first arrived.  Next week the gang will be in Las Vegas, so enjoy the thrill of a quick dismissal while you can; pretty soon your votes will be the only thing keeping the competition afloat.

The Sparks:

Her sparkly pink guitar caught everyone’s eye, but not for long; Olivia Rox’s voice soon took precedent.  The 14-year-old’s powerhouse vocals were quite unexpected, much like her ability to turn Justin Bieber’s “As Long As You Love Me” into a suspenseful tune.  Olivia’s vocal athletics paved the way for her ticket to Las Vegas.  Let’s hope that voice makes it to Radio City Music Hall.

At first Tummy Talk looked like a distinguished group of performers thanks to their tuxes—until the group’s human drum, a larger shirtless man in a bow tie, came out and allowed the group to use his body to make music.  Howie’s return to the stage made it possible for this group to gain passage to the next round.  Don’t be surprised if their stay in Vegas is short-lived, though; it’s hard to imagine their act developing into a quality performance.  At least we got to watch them make music with Nick; shirtless is a much better look for him.

Five very young acrobatic dancers called Fresh Faces won everyone’s favor quickly with their bright smiles and spirited routine.  A familiar-looking celebrity impressionist made it clear he’s a professional with his spot on Robert De Niro, Robin Williams, and Ricky Gervais impressions.  How do you make break dancing a thrill?  Stick a knife down your throat while you perform like the shirtless nameless man who made it to Vegas.  His dancing wasn’t as extreme as the knife in his throat, but there’s no telling what else he’ll do.

An ice skating act has never been in the competition probably due to the stage’s lack of ice.  Bringing along a plastic substitute made it possible for a daring group of performers to completely stun the judges and the audience.  While two in the group performed on aerial silks the rest swung each other about down below, adding more than a few elements of danger to their routine.  Maybe in Las Vegas they’ll flash their super talented group’s name across the screen—they deserve to be recognized.

SensEstion performed for an audience for the first time with much success.  Their video imaging combined with dancing was something to marvel, though it left Heidi Klum feeling very nonplussed.  Luckily the rest of the judges had the sense to pass the group on.

It doesn’t help that everyone fell in love with Yasha and Daniela long before they took the stage.  The precocious youngsters can’t be older than 10, so their argument about whether or not they should be a couple was more than adorable.  Their ballroom dancing routine was nothing short of astounding.  It’ll be interesting to see how they measure up against the family of youthful ballroom dancers in Las Vegas.

Jimmy Rose brought his small town southern charm to the stage, along with an original song.  The former Marine and coal miner’s tune “The Coal Keeps the Lights On” was a touching performance, due in large part to his soulful country voice.  Of course all the judges were impressed; finding an amateur whose original music is beloved is hard to find.

Little Chloe Channell sang “All American Girl” with all the passion her eleven year old heart could muster.  The mystified judges put the little starlet one step closer to her million dollar dream of a new hunting camp.  If she keeps singing like that pretty soon she’ll have all the big bucks she wants.

212 Green performed Adele’s “Rumor Has It” with a slight rap twist.  Perhaps the blending of the two very different sounds has to do with the group’s different heritage; most were siblings, born of mixed heritage.  Their undeniable ability garnered praise from the judges, hugs from Mel B., and a ticket to Las Vegas.

All the Rest:

The table full of plungers on the stage made Howard Stern think Ronald Farnham’s performance had something to do with feces.  It did; his talent of throwing plungers should be swimming in the same bowl.  It’s a mystery why Ronald—or anyone for that matter—could find merit in throwing plungers at the backs of others.  Considering it took Ronald several tries before he even got close to hitting his poor targets, it’s probably best Howie hadn’t made it to the stage yet; no need to give the man false hope.  He was sent home to practice, but it might be best if he worked on finding something, anything, else to do.

As if introducing himself as a 62-year-old ex-stripper wasn’t weird enough, the next nameless hopeful attempted to rap while blinding everyone with his sparkly tux jacket.  Thankfully his journey ended quickly, much like Mr. Television, whose weak puns and paltry props were a fleeting disappointment.

The competition has seen people playing instruments of their own creation before, but Abel’s crutch guitar wasn’t the last the wonder it could have been.  You know, if he had any actual talent.

Since when is blowing yourself up a talent?  After climbing into a aluminum box before he was blown to smithereens Captain Explosion looked hurt, laid unmoving on the ground.  He made it through, but somehow it wasn’t quite as compelling as a danger act should be.

Belly dancing contortionist Megan Amigo smiled while twisting her body into shapes that many could never even attempt.  Too bad it was the same shape over and over.  With her belly dancing practically non-existent, the judges mercifully sent Megan and all her positivity home to learn how to properly craft a performance.

How can you make a very odd looking puppet and owner seem even weirder?  Have a man in a huge squirrel costume join you onstage.  It’s tough to say where they were going with this, but since they headed home, does it matter? Soon after, another inexplicable duo performed some dance and contortion combo that had them hitting the road quickly.  A woman performing animal noises and a group of ice cutters bit the dust as well.

There’s a reason Carrot Top is a dredge on the comedic memory, and someone might want to communicate that to Al Harris.  Besides being unorganized his one liners and props were slightly amusing in a sadly pitiful way.  Four X’s from the judges couldn’t stop his performance but thankfully Al finally accepted his fate, giving everyone a chance to celebrate the silence.