America's Got Talent-Season 8-Logo
Someone somewhere thought it would be a good idea to touch base with acts that didn’t make it past the audition round.  In true America’s Got Talent fashion, instead of contacting a performer that had some potential, they decided the disastrous prop comedian Al Harris was worth a visit.  What can be said about a man whose regular audience admitted his jokes are stupid and lame, but they suck so bad they’re actually funny?  Obviously NBC is going to keep trying different asinine time wasting segments until they find one that works.  Little tip: this isn’t it.  Of course they probably figured that out when Al’s microphone hogging made Nick drive the show into a commercial break.  And as for Mr. Cannon, unlike his rhinestone-encrusted Christian Louboutin loafers from Tuesday, his shiny red shoes could not be ignored.  Perhaps that’s because of the red checked picnic table cloth shirt and a cream colored iridescent suit he paired with them.  Fire your stylist Nick—do it for us.

If you came of age in the later 1990s/early 2000s chances are you know The Backstreet Boys.  You sang their music willingly or begrudgingly—those were some catchy tunes—and you copied their dance moves, lovingly or mockingly.  Either way, there’s little chance their reign escaped your radar.  So having them on as a guest performer was sure to please the masses.  Did anyone truly want to hear their new song “In a World Like This?”  Of course not, but the audience politely played along until they gave us what we really wanted: “I Want it That Way.”  With all the screaming girls onstage, it felt like old times.  Backstreet’s back, alright!

Without results the whole thing would be pointless though.  In what seems to be the norm for season eight, the first result was heartbreaking: when four acts were brought out to be told they were out of the competition David Ferman was among them.  After two years of begging the judges to provide a roster full of talented acts, they finally followed through.  Now it seems like America is choosing to ignore talent in favor of sob stories.  The first act to snag a spot in the semi-finals was Cami Bradley; thankfully America’s not afraid to vote for a good singer.  That meant the next act to win the next spot was Jimmy Rose, which was the end of the road for the very capable Aerial Ice.  Howie said it right after Jimmy’s fate was fact: being a country singer and a Veteran gifts you voters.  He also reminded viewers that this is a talent competition.  Maybe that’s why the next act to make it through was Timber Brown: every slap in the face is followed by a breath of fresh air.  That left Chloe Channell and Taylor Williamson in the bottom two to be sorted by the judges.  Heidi Klum and Mel B voted for Chloe, while Taylor won Howie Mandel and Howard Stern’s votes.  Thankfully America’s votes gave Taylor Williamson the last spot.  After all of that, we’re going to need a few laughs to perk up the semi-finals.