Emmy Live Blog Main

It’s strange the way the Television Academy works. For years, they refused to broadcast the Emmys live on the West Coast. Y’know, where all the people who actually work in television might want to watch it. Well, this year they finally decided to air them live for all of us Left Coasters, but, of course, it’s airing on a Monday in order to avoid competition with Beyonce’s self-indulgent performance at the VMA’s so we’re back to square one.

So, for all of you in the Pacific Time Zone who actually have a job, here is Screenpicks’ Live Blog just for the West Coast:

8:05 – It didn’t take long for Seth Meyers to rip into The Emmys’ being held on a Monday in order to avoid basically everything else on television. Didn’t this used to be the other way around for every other television series?

8:07 – Meyers bites the hand that feeds quickly with two boffo zingers against NBC. “These shows are ending just like most of NBC’s fall shows.” So funny and so true.

8:10 – A quick, tight, super-fast monologue from Seth Meyers. So brief it may as well as not happened. Or been the opening to his Late Night show. Because it was basically the same jokes.

8:11 – WINNER – Ty Burrell wins his second Emmy for Modern Family. My predictions: 0-1. I predicted Andre Braugher. I thought we were through with Modern Family winning anything, but I guess not. At least his speech “written” by the kids of the show was funny.

8:17 – She’s in a show where she’s known for her bangs. She’s in a show where everyone bangs. That joke couldn’t have gone over worse.

8:18 – WINNER – Louis C.K. wins for the writing the least funny episode of all the episodes nominated for the Outstanding Comedy Writing award. (That’s non-“Episodes” division, of course).

8:22 – Jimmy spending about four minute excoriating Matthew McConaughey is the best three minutes of this show so far. Not great for Seth Meyers when Jimmy does a better opening monologue than the actual host.

8:24 – WINNER – Allison Janney wins her sixth Emmy for her role on Mom. My predictions: 0-2. I thought Kate Mulgrew would win. Janney did pull off the Supporting version of the Edie Falco by now winning in both the Drama and Comedy categories.

8:32 – WINNER – Gail Mancuso wins for directing the Las Vegas episode of Modern Family. It’s a well-deserved win, though it does scarily portend another season of Modern Family’s winning it all.

8:34 – This speech was a bit amusing, but it went on about two minutes too long. Especially from McConaughey’s perspective, I’m sure.

8:37 – Three minutes of Billy on the Street just isn’t. That could have gone on for the rest of the show and I wouldn’t have been bored for  a second.

8:38 – I enjoyed the Tim Whatley reference, but it might have been nice had Julia-Louis Dreyfuss introduced the actual category.

8:39 – WINNER – Jim Parsons wins his fourth Emmy for The Big Bang Theory. I hope he gets a decent payday soon after all these trophies. My predictions: 1-3 – I got one right!

8:46 – WINNER – Julia-Louis Dreyfuss wins her third-straight Emmy for Veep and gets a mouthful of Bryan Cranston as her bonus prize. My predictions: 2-4. I got another!

8:49 – WINNER – The Amazing Race wins its tenth Emmy in the reality competition program category. My predictions: 3-5. You can always count on the elf who possessed Jerry Bruckheimer’s soul clutching an Emmy each year.

8:56 – Here comes some questions from the audience, gang! Seth Meyers using the most tired of all SNL Monologue tropes as filler. At least he’s got some big stars for his audience.

9:00 – WINNER – Stephen Moffatt wins for writing an episode of Sherlock – all my pretentious friends would be happy if they allowed themselves to feel emotions.

9:01 – WINNER – Kathy Bates wins for Best Supporting Actress in a Miniseries/Movie for American Horror Story: Coven. And that’s the last time I write the full category and show title ever again.

9:08 – Stephen Colbert’s Rosco bit is a bit like Clint Eastwood’s Obama Chair bit. Just not quite as entertaining.

9:09 – WINNER – Martin Freeman wins best supporting actor for his work on Sherlock. I wonder if the actors in the The Normal Heart split the vote since every single one of them was nominated.

9:11 – WINNER – Colin Bucksey wins Best Director for Fargo and confirms his Britishness by referencing “the loo” in his speech. Charming.

9:21 – WINNER – Benedict Cumberbatch wins Best Actor Sherlock. My predictions: 3-6. I thought Billy Bob Thornton would win. But, hey! We’re back on categories I actually took the time to predict. I may have to wake up again.

9:27 – WINNER – Jessica Lange wins once again for whatever American Horror Story this is. She’s also surprised by her winning for seven-thousandth time. Seems like she’d start expecting it pretty soon.

9:31 – I have to say, I think I’d find this Weird Al bit a lot funnier if I’d actually ever taken the time to listen to these TV Theme Songs. Curse you, DVR!

9:33 – WINNER – Fargo wins for Best Miniseries. My predictions: 4-7. Never have I been so happy to be right.

9:41 – WINNER – The Normal Heart wins for Best TV Movie. And once again for least interesting title.

9:44 – Ricky Gervais Alert! Ricky Gervais Alert!

9:46 – And his sour grapes are our sweet delight.

9:47 – WINNER – Sarah Silverman wins for best writing for her variety special “We Are Miracles”. And confirms she’s dating Michael Sheen. Ah, weird couples. How we love you.

9:56 – WINNER – The best moment of the Emmy Awards occurs once again as the director of the show that’s on right now wins for directing the Tony’s. It’s always so great when that happens.

9:58 – WINNER – The Colbert Report wins again for Best Variety Series. Or, as Gwen Stefani put it, The Colbore Repore. Or something like that.

10:07 – I’m not sure what was more boring, The TV Academy President’s description of his organization or the attempted comedy of the bit with Sofia Vergara. Especially her comment about “how we do it on American Telelvision.” You know, that place where she’s worked for about a decade. I guess she isn’t used to it yet.

10:10 – WINNER – Aaron Paul wins Best Supporting Actor in a Drama for Breaking Bad. My predictions: 4-8. I thought Peter Dinklage would win. I’m not sure who I was rooting for here, but I can’t be upset either way.

10:17 – James Garner gets the hammer of the regulation In Memoriam segment, but, of course, Robin Williams gets his own section with Billy Crystal paying his own tribute. Glad that he kept it light. “Robin Williams. What a concept.” Pretty perfect summation.

10:25 – Sweet CSI: Miami reference. Too bad that show hasn’t been on in two years.

10:26 – WINNER – Cary Joji Fukunaga wins for Best Director for True Detective. He’s also sporting a very fine set of pigtails. How grand.

10:27 – WINNER – Anna Gunn wins her second Emmy for Breaking Bad. My predictions: 5-9. I wish she would do a similar bit to Bryan Cranston’s Seinfeld bit with regards to her kissing Cousin Jeffrey.

10:36 – WINNER – Moira Walley-Beckett wins for Best Writing for the Ozymandias episode of Breaking Bad. And these chimes they’re playing over the Breaking Bad theme are officially driving me insane.

10:39 – WINNER – Julianna Margulies wins Best Actress in a Drama for The Good Wife. My predictions: 5-10. I’m still miffed I got her wrong for the first season of this show.

10:48 – WINNER – Bryan Cranston wins Best Actor in a Drama for Breaking Bad. I thought after the first episode of this show that he should win every season it’s on the air. He only missed one so the Academy did a pretty good job. My predictions: 6-11 (I think, but who’s really keeping track anymore?)

10:52 – WINNER – Just as was shaping up all evening, Modern Family wins again for Outstanding Comedy Series. This has to be the last year, right? My predictions: 6-12. I thought Orange is the New Black would win.

10:58 – WINNER – Breaking Bad wins its second Emmy for Outstanding Drama Series. My predictions: 7-12. I can’t do a eulogy for Breaking Bad justice, so I’ll just leave it at that.

That’s it for the recap of this year’s show. A breezy three hours that didn’t waste anytime. Seth Meyers was…adequate: The best comedy came from the presenters and other awards show hosts like Jimmy Kimmel and Ricky Gervais. Still, it was a solid show, delivering a lot of the non-self-important laughs we come to expect from the Emmys.

Now let’s hope for some upsets next year.