Kiss Off: The Worst Film Kisses of All-Time
If the purpose of going to the movies or spending a few hours in front of the TV is escape, then nothing takes you into the moment more than a good screen kiss.
We fondly remember the romantic classics – Burt Lancaster and Deborah Kerr rolling in the waves in “From Here to Eternity,” or Rachel McAdams and Ryan Gosling bonding in the rain in “The Notebook.” Or how about Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) putting the lip lock on Fredo (John Cazale) in “The Godfather, Part III?”
Those big sizzles all had one thing in common – pure passion. But not every screen couple can generate some smoke when they press lips. Here’s five that had less fire than a child’s birthday cake:
1) James Franco and Freida Pinto in “Rise of the Planet of the Apes” – There was more of a bond between ape leader Caesar and Franco than with his alleged love interest in the film. If you’re looking for sizzle, recall ape scientist Zira and astronaut Charlton Heston in their screen smooch in the original “Planet of the Apes.” Franco and Pinto were a mushy banana by comparison.
2) Natalie Portman and Hayden Christensen in “Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones” – This ranks right up there as the least passionate kiss in film history. Maybe it’s because Natalie confessed she “felt like a whore” when doing the love scenes. Perhaps Hayden isn’t a big tipper, or maybe it’s just that she knew him as a boy. Which makes us even more queasy.
3) Owen Wilson and Rachel McAdams in “Wedding Crashers” – We were turned on by the kinky exploits of Vince Vaughn and Isla Fisher in the film. As for Wilson and McAdams, they seem to have more of a spiritual bond than passion. Ergo, there’s no emotional release when they finally lip-lock. When Christopher Walken shows more emotion than the film’s love interests, you know you’re in trouble.
4) Will Smith and Vivica Fox in “Independence Day” – He’s just saved the world from an alien invasion, and his reward is a “meh” kiss from his new bride? Smith seemed to take more delight in his cigar after knocking out an alien saucer pilot in the film. Calling Dr. Freud!
5) Tom Cruise and Andrea Riseborough in “Oblivion” – It’s a bleak film, but nothing is more of a downer than Cruise’s relationship with his co-star. You’ll cringe more at their tender moments than at the film’s violence.
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