This time of year is a movie lover’s paradise. Scary movies, heartwarming holiday dramas, Oscar contenders… you can keep your Summer blockbusters. The Fall move season is by far superior. Sadly, for every movie worthy of this magical time of year, there are some that seem to exist simply to remind us how good the other films are. All Hallows’ Eve is a movie that tarnishes the season and is the cinematic equivalent of having your candy stolen by hooligans.

The tired plot revolves around Eve (Lexi Giovagnoli) who finds out she is a witch during her 18th birthday which (of course) takes place on All Hallows’ Eve (get it?). But after her magic gets a little out of control and despite the warnings of her shape shifting dog, she summons an evil relative who wants to do witch stuff to the town.

It’s too easy to say this is a terrible film. It is. The cinematography is pedestrian, the acting is flat (which is somewhat acceptable as the script seems to have been written by an alien who did a cursory Google search for teenage slang) and lengthy, dull exposition is considered dialog. Also, the characters have a way of trying to hide what’s going on at odd times, having side conversations that make no sense and jamming “conflict” into situations like a punk kid shoving candy corns into door locks while cavorting about on Halloween night (not that I know anyone who’s ever done that).

The casting is baffling to say the least, as Eve’s Father (Daniel Cooksley) looks as if he is Eve’s brother age wise. And speaking of baffling, the film features Dee Wallace and Tracey Gold in cameos they clearly shot somewhere else (possibly from a hellish dimension where they had to pay for a terrible crime by appearing in this movie).

The special effects can best be described as “attempted photoshop” and the editing manages to be boring and sporadic at the same time. The films/TV projects that clearly inspired it (and, quite frankly, it ripped off in many places) are far better time investments. Hocus Pocus and Sabrina the Teenage Witch are actual Halloween classics and incredibly less insulting to the audience.

This movie is obviously destined to go straight to DVD and probably find a home on either Lifetime, Disney Channel or some other outlet where garbage cinema inevitably ends up. And while this review may seem harsh, think of it as a public service announcement attempting to keep innocent movie lovers from throwing away and hour and a half of their life. Or, better yet, think of this movie as a house on Halloween night without its lights on. Just avoid it. There are no treats to be had.